Gale Jokes

This week President Obama became the first president to get a life-size 3D-printed portrait done. It looked so real that Joe Biden argued with it for 20 minutes that Peeta is better than Gale. Biden then realized his mistake, . . . and admitted Gale is the clear choice.

Two men are drinking in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building... and there's a massive storm outside. Gale force winds. One man turns to the other and says: ""You know Mac, the wind is so strong right now, I bet you could jump out the window, and the wind would carry you gently down onto that window cleaning platform on the other side of the building, 20 stories down."" ""Bullshit!"" Mac exclaims, ""There's no way that would ever happen."" ""Alright then,"" the first man says, ""I'll pro…

A pirate walks into a bar... Hook hand, peg-leg, eye-patch, the whole nine yards. He's decked out in his best pirate garb and just strolls into this pub. The modern folks in the bar are stunned and amused, but only one brave patron approaches, "Are you really a pirate?" he asks "Aye, lad, that I am. Captain Killigan at yer service." "Wow, so is all this stuff real? The hook and the leg and all?" "Aye, aye, and I'll tell ye the story of 'em all for a drink." Eager to hear his story, the m…

Never thought I would hear an actual funny joke in church Heard this joke from my priest at church (I live in Kansas City). A man who lived a lifetime of trouble died and was sentenced to smash rocks in hell to suffer for his sins. One day the devil walked up to the man who was breaking the rocks with ease and asked him how he was doing it so effortlessly. The man responded, "I grew up on a farm in Missouri, I am used to physical labor like this." In an effort to amplify the mans suffering, …

Timbuktu The chief poet of the town dies, so they have to elect a new one. The voting whittles the candidates down to two. The town holds a feast to choose the winner. The mayor stands up and declares that the winner shall be decided by voting on the poem the candidates can come up with on the spot based on a subject of his choosing. The mayor announces the subject will be "Timbuktu." The first candidate stands up, thinks for a moment, and recites: It came across a stormy gale Broad of beam…

A bunch of cows and bulls are standing in a field.. A bunch of cows and bulls are standing in a field. A huge gust of wind comes along and all the cows fall over, but the bulls just stand there, bracing themselves against the gale. All the cows stand up and go back to their chewing. Pretty soon, an even stronger wind blows through and all of the cows are knocked to the ground, but the bulls just munch on the grass. Next, a bona fide tornado comes through and all the cows are knocked clean in…

So you like limericks, huh? On the Breast of a woman named Gale was tattooed the price of her tail and on her behind for the sake of the blind was the same information in braile.

A husband crept out of bed early one Saturday morning to go fishing. He packed his fishing equipment in the trunk of the car, hooked up the boat on a trailer and set off. The weather was terrible – driving sleet and a howling gale – so after a couple of miles he stopped the car to listen to the weather forecast in the hope that conditions would improve as the morning wore on. When it was obvious that the bad weather was set in for the day, he decided to turn around and go home. Having parked the…