Kansas City Jokes

Long Flight Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, ""Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."" Thirty minutes later the captain announced, ""One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines."" An hour later the captain announced, ""One…

Pull out in time. A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Oakland to Kansas City. The son, who had been looking out the window, turned to his mother and said: ""If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes? The mother, who couldn't think of an answer, told her son to ask the flight attendant. So, the little boy asked the flight attendant: ""If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby plan…

My favorite bad Christmas joke Dolf is the weatherman at KTVY, the local CBS affiliate in Kansas City. He's also a closet communist, and has a bit of an anger management problem. During their Christmas Eve broadcast Dolf forecasts a cold and rainy Christmas day, then turns it over to Erin, the anchor he's been dating for the past few months: ""Dolf, are you sure its just rain for tomorrow? I bet everyone's praying for a little snow tonight!"" ""No no Erin, just rain for tomorrow"" ""Are you sure…

A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The son turned from the window to his mother and asked, ""If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"" The mother said, ""Well, maybe that's something you could ask the stewardess."" So the boy asked the stewardess, ""If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"" The stewardess responded, ""Did your mother te…

Fifteen minutes into the flight from Kansas City to Toronto, the captain announced, ""Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."" Thirty minutes later the captain announced, ""One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines."" An hour later the captain announced, ""One more engine…

Every Sunday, a little old lady placed $1,000 in the collection plate. This went on for weeks until the priest, overcome with curiosity, approached her. ""Sister, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 a week in the collection plate,"" he noted. ""Why yes,"" she replied, ""every week my son sends me money, and what I don't need I give to the church."" ""That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"" asked the priest. ""Oh, $2,000 a week."" said the old lady. ""Your son is very successful…

Never thought I would hear an actual funny joke in church Heard this joke from my priest at church (I live in Kansas City). A man who lived a lifetime of trouble died and was sentenced to smash rocks in hell to suffer for his sins. One day the devil walked up to the man who was breaking the rocks with ease and asked him how he was doing it so effortlessly. The man responded, "I grew up on a farm in Missouri, I am used to physical labor like this." In an effort to amplify the mans suffering, …

Southwest A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "D…

Southwest Airlines A mother and her son were flying Southwest Airlines from Oakland to Kansas City.

Flying Southwest Airlines A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago . The little boy

Back in the 1940s, two first-time flyers took a plane from New York to Los Angeles. When they made their first stop – at Philadelphia – a red truck arrived to put fuel in the plane. A little while later, they landed in Pittsburgh, and again a red truck pulled up to fill the plane's tanks with fuel. Each time they landed to discharge or take on passengers, a red truck would pull up and add fuel to the tanks. Finally, after landing in Kansas City and seeing the truck pull up again, one passenger s…