A man walks into a bar and sees a pirate. A man strolls into his local bar and is shocked to see a pirate sitting at the end of the bar. The guy was decked out, eye patch, peg leg, and a hook hand. A real, proper pirate. So the man says ""why not?"" And pulls up a seat next to the pirate. He buys a round for himself and the pirate and introduces himself. ""**Aye**"" The man is just dying to know the old salt's story so he says to the pirate, ""If you don't mind me asking, what happened to your leg?"" ""Aye, well I was out sailing me ship when a rogue wave broadsided us. I lost me footing and fell overboard. Shark bit me leg clean off."" ""Oh my, that's terrible!"" The man says. Looking at his hook hand the man sheepishly asks, ""Sorry to be so nosy, but what happened to your hand?"" ""Yarr matey, lost me favorite hand in battle. Rapscallion got it with his cutlass. Lucky I had me trusty pistol."" he said with a laugh. ""Oh thats awful!"" Says the man. Not wanting to ask too many questions, he nervously says, ""If you don't mind, I gotta hear the story behind that eye patch."" The pirate says, ""Aye laddie. It was a nice day. A bloody **beutiful** day. The sun be shinin', the sea was calm, and all me mateys and I were singin and drinkin the day away when a seagull pooped in me eye."" And proceeded to finish his beer. ""Im sorry, but a bit of bird poop caused you to lose your eye?"" ""Yarr matey, it was the day after I got me hook.""