Pirate Jokes

Awesome Joke! It leaves me rolling on the floor each time I read it. Worth the read for the punchline! A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?' The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished. Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy …

What's A Pirate's Favorite thing too do? Hook up

What do you call a pirate with no friends? Ginger Beard

What's a pirate's least favorite letter? The one he gets from his internet provider for copyright infringement.

What's a pirate's favorite letter? Aye, ye think it be ""R"", but it be the ""C!""

Red shirt There was a treasure ship on its way back to port. About halfway there, it was approached by a pirate, skull and crossbones waving in the breeze! ""Captain, captain, what do we do?"" asked the first mate. ""First mate,"" said the captain, ""go to my cabin, open my sea chest, and bring me my red shirt."" The first mate did so. Wearing his bright red shirt, the captain exhorted his crew to fight. So inspiring was he, in fact, that the pirate ship was repelled without casualties. A few da…

What do you call a pirate that sells things? A sailor.

What do you call a disobedient feline pirate? A mew-tineer! And what do you call a genetically altered cow? A moo-tant, of course!

I am the Dread Pirate Roberts of poverty. Taking ever increasing doses, hoping that one day I'll become immune.

A pirate walks into a bar. He's got a steering wheel on his belt buckle. The bartender asks ""What's with the steering wheel?"" The pirate says ""ARRGGHH! It's drivin' me nuts.""

What's a pirate's favorite amino acid? Aaaaaaaarrrrrginine....

Three young friends, seeking a fortune, adventure together to Egypt where a new pyramid has been discovered Upon arriving at the pyramid, they are immediately told to leave as the site has already been excavated. The friends, not willing to concede, look for a different way in and find an entrance never before used. It is through this entrance that they find a secret passage way, one that is made at first to look like a dead end but is truly a turn in the hallway. They venture around this turn a…

Bring me my Red Shirt! Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the waves, a captain and his crew were in danger of being boarded by a pirate ship. As the crew became frantic, the captain bellowed to his First Mate, ""Bring me my red shirt!"". The First Mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, which the captain put on and lead the crew to battle the pirate boarding party. Although some casualties occurred among the crew, the pirates were repelled. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there…

What's a pirate's favorite bomb? The tsARRR bomba.

What did the Native American pirate say when asked his heritage? Arrrrrr Metis!

What did the pirate say when he turned 80? Arrr Matey!

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel around his waist... Bartender says ""Hey man, you have a steering wheel around your waist!? The Pirate replies ""Yeah I know... It's drivin me nuts!"".

How the Pirate got his patch A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened, you look terrible!"" ""What do you mean?"" the pirate replies, ""I'm fine."" The bartender says, ""But what about that wooden leg? You didn't have that before."" ""Well,"" says the pirate, ""We were in a battle at sea and a cannon ball hit my leg but the surgeon fixed me up, and I'm fine, really."" ""Yeah,"" says the bartender, ""But what about that hook? Last time …

What is a pirate's favorite letter? R, but his first love was the C.

What does a Muslim pirate say? Allahu Ackbarrrrr!

A pirate decided he wanted to retire He sold all his gold on eBay.

Can you guess what the pirate's favorite drink is? *Hint: named after a Captain...* Black beer, duh

A pirate walks into a bar... A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel hanging from his crotch. Someone asks ""what is that on you?"" He responds, ""Arrr, I've no idea, but it's drivin' me nuts!""

When I was a kid I wanted to become a pirate, and sail the open seas. But instead, I just ended up downloading a lot of movies.

A pirate with Alzheimer's sold his parrot The next day he woke up and shouted ""Where's my ship!?""