Neighbors just got a pirate ship playhouse for their backyard. Drunk me has never been so excited.

Pirate walks into a bar... Bartender says, ""Is that a napkin on your head?"" Pirate replies "" No, it be a bounty"".

Seaman and the Pirate A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, ""So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?"" The pirate replies, ""We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off."" ""Wow!"" said the seaman. ""What about your hook""? ""Well"", replied the pirate, ""We were boardin…

An Irish pirate with a 12 inch wiener walks into a bar and the bartender says ""I don't even know how to label you!""