What did the lesbian pirate say to her peg legged girlfriend? Scissor me timbers

What do you call a pirate's girlfriend? His soulmatey

Her: What brings you to speed dating? Me: I just ran out of the fancy shampoo my previous GF bought for me.

DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU