Science Jokes

A clone experiment gone wrong. A laboratory, hidden from public knowledge, secretly worked on the cloning of humans. Of course, human cloning being illegal, their staff was limited to a select few that had both the credentials and the disregard for rules that was considered essential to be a successful researcher at the facility. And then, naturally, there were the volunteers. Many of the volunteers were quite popular with the scientists, but chief amongst them was Benny. Benny was the picture o…

A scientist tried to recreate the Chernobyl disaster using only transparent gases It was a new, clear reaction.

Report Card Subject: Science God clearly posses a great potential for talent, but his attitude is recalcitrant and his conviction is seriously lacking. He left a project, that had been assigned an eternity ago, until the last week before it was due. Then throwing the piece together in a very haphazard manner and doing nothing on the seventh day; the very day before it was due. When asked why he had not used this time to go over his work and eliminate some of its obvious defects, he became righte…

What do you call something that's impossible due to physics? Physics-ly impossible. There's your dad joke for the day.

Man dies and goes to hell... A man dies and finds himself at the Gates of Hell. Obviously, he is distraught to not find himself in Heaven, but he also knows his life on Earth wasn't exactly Heaven-worthy. Looking very glum, he approaches the devil. ""Why do you look so upset?"" The devil asks. ""Why am I upset?! I died and went to Hell! What reason could I have for being happy?!"" The devil replies, ""Oh come on! You might actually like it here! It's not so bad. Don't you like drinking?"" Somber…

Two atoms walk into a bar... One atom says to the other ""I think I lost an electron."" The other asks ""Are you sure?"" The other replies ""I'm positive.""

Vacancy announcements these days Required qualifications: - Work experience of 50 years or more; - Incumbent must defeat a dragon; - Willingness to work on weekends and holidays; - Helicopter piloting licence; - Ability to programme in any language imaginable; - Knowledge of Swahili at least at uppr intrmdit level; - Daily acquisition of 100,500 new clients; - Understanding of thermonuclear fusion; - Experience organising concerts of Cannibal Corpse in Saudi Arabia; - Confidence in using telekin…

Mr. Bean and Einstein were taking a coffee when Einstein challenges Mr. Bean to a knowledge challenge. **Einstein**: here is the deal, Bean. I'll make you a question. If you don't know the answer you give me 1$. Then you ask me something and if I have no answers for you, I'll give you 1000$ **Mr. Bean**: Fine. Einstein, sure of his upcoming success, proceeds to ask Bean his question. **Einstein**: What's the basic of quantum physics? **Mr. Bean**: ehm... He gives Einstein $1. **Einstein**: alrig…

Quantum physics joke Heisenberg and Schrodinger were driving. Heisenberg was on the wheel and Schrodinger was the passenger. A cop pulls them over and asks Heisenberg: ""Do you know the speed at which you were driving?"". Heisenberg replies ""No, I was looking out the window, I would rather know where I am."". The cop gets angry and goes to search the trunk. He finds a dog that had died from the heat. The cop goes and tells Schrodinger ""You know, you have a dead dog in the trunk."". Schrodinger…

What makes Skrillex skillful at the chemistry lab? He rocks at *dropping the base.*

FIFA 16 joke. fifa 16 is going to feature women players for the first time, apparently in the consumables section you will be able to purchase tampons alongside contracts and chemistry styles.

(Computer science) I asked a Texan if he's seen his family tree, he said, ""you mean family graph?""

I told a joke to my Chemistry teacher. He replied ""Oh man, I slapped my neon that one""

Science joke time! What happens if you're late to extremophile school? You get a tardy grade. ([Here's a Wikipedia article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tardigrade) that explains the joke if you don't get it.)

Recently scientist found an actual biographical journal of Rip Van Winkle And the rest is history

I was talking to my science class... ...about Astronomical Units (Au). Our conversation was gold.

For some reason, a lot of people don't git this one. A scientist cloned himself, but the clone turned out to be incredibly rude. Eventually, the scientist got sick of his clone and pushed him over a cliff. The next day he was arrested for making an obscene clone fall.

I have a joke about Physics... But meh. I guess it wouldn't matter.

Two men stage a bet to see if they can answer each other's questions. There are two men, one is rather intelligent (Man A), and he proposes to his friend (Man B), a lesser intelligent man, that they will both ask each other a question. If Man B cannot answer Man A's question correctly, Man B must give him 1. However if Man A cannot answer Man B's question correctly, then he will give Man B 1000. They both ponder for a few seconds and each come up with a question. Man A asks a difficult chemistry…

What kind of father names their child Adam? A scientist.

Robot A guy goes into a bar in Louisiana where there's a robot bartender . The robot says, ""What will you have?"" The guy says, ""Whiskey."" The robot brings back his drink and says to the man, ""What's your IQ?"" The guy says, ""168."" The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, . . . but he is curious . . . So he goes back into the bar. The robot bartender says, ""What will you have?"" The guy says, ""Whiskey."" Again, the robot bri…

I wonder how Beaker from the Muppets came to work at Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's laboratory. Is he just there as a college intern, or is he a graduated beaker?

I know many chemistry jokes... But im afraid they wont get a good reaction.

A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour. When you open the trunk, which one is really happy to see you?

Never trust an atom. Actually, it's probably fine. They only make up about 4% of everything.