Fifa Jokes

ME: bae, you wanna go out? HER: hell yeah ME: ok pliz close the door on your way out I need to play FIFA alone.

The two FIFA World Cup 2014 songs are Ole Ola & La La La. Our linguistic evolution as humans never ceases to amaze me.

BREAKING: Swiss Police confirm that, when arrested, all seven FIFA officials threw themselves on the ground and pretended to be injured.

US Loretta Lynch confirms that all 7 FIFA officials dramatically threw themselves onto the ground faking injury when arrested earlier today.

You know, my dream for gaming is where in one game you'll shoot someone and then during a game of say Fifa you'll see their son crying

Holland break FIFA rules by accidentally scoring against Brazil

FIFA is a nonprofit. That's it. That's the joke

Upon England's exit from the Euros... Talks are beginning to emerge for a referendum from FIFA and starting their own international football governing body, in which they will be the only nation invited and will always win no matter what.

Did you hear about the most recent FIFA scandal? Turns out Lionel was a little Messi in his financial records.

James Bond is called in to FIFA Contacted by a panicked FIFA, Bond is informed that they have recieved a demand for $1bn, with a threat to grusomely murder top footballers every day until it is paid. The note says that the best player in the world will be fed into a woodchipper at midnight. ""Oh dear"" says James. ""That'll be Messi""

I think Adam Johnson should remain on FIFA 16 Because it means that kids will get to play with him for once

A man takes his seat at a FIFA world cup final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between him and the next guy. MAN: ""Who would ever miss the FIFA world cup final?"" GUY: ""That was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five world cup finals together, but sadly she passed away."" MAN: ""Oh...that's terrible, and very sweet of you to have her here symbolically by having a vacant seat. But these are expensive tickets - couldn't you have brought another family member, …

So I bought FIFA 16... But I tried to load it up on my machine and it said the disc was corrupt. I stuck in 20 through the slot and it's working again now, woohoo. Anyone know why I can only play World Cups in China, Russia, or the Middle East no matter what teams I choose...?

I guess FIFA had to pee cause they couldn't hold their Blatter anymore.

Italy in the 2014 FIFA world cup What's the difference between Italy and a tea bag? Ones in a cup

Loving Husband! A man takes his seat at a FIFA World Cup Final. He looks to his left & notices that there is a spare seat betwen himself & the next guy. MAN: ""Who would ever miss the FIFA world cup final?"" GUY: ""That was my wife's seat. We have been to the last five world cup finals together, but sadly she passed away."" MAN: ""Oh... that's terrible, and very sweet of you to have her here symbolically by having a vacant seat. But these are expensive tickets; couldn't you have brought …

FIFA 16 joke. fifa 16 is going to feature women players for the first time, apparently in the consumables section you will be able to purchase tampons alongside contracts and chemistry styles.

EA just announced this amazing FIFA 16 feature - player is now able to run from the FBI

So FIFA has an Ethics Committee... and if they have an Ethics Committee, why don't they have a Committee of Mental Health? I mean, the nets gotta feel pretty bad after four quarters of having black and white balls kicked at them.

Sepp Blatter has resigned as FIFA President... Sep Blatter has resigned as the FIFA President after the allegations of corruption have been taken global. His involvement in the scandal has been rumoured to have been the sharing of confidential FIFA information to private entities in return for large cash payments. A press release has been issued with the title ""Nobody likes a leaking Blatter""

The 209 members of fifa voted on the presidency yesterday sepp blatter won in a landslide victory with 8000 votes

In light of all the corruption arrests coming to FIFA, whoever organizes tennis tournaments is pretty lucky not to get investigated... I'm sure those tennis executives would all be charged with racketeering.

FIFA just got caught taking bribes for the 2010 World Cup. What a kick in the balls.

Nike's thought when considering whether or not to participate in the FIFA bribe scandal... Just do it

How many FIFA officials does it take to change a light bulb? **None**. They operate in the **dark**.