Science Jokes

Why do Physics and Biology teachers never get along? Because they have no chemistry

Three guys discuss how would they kill their mother in law An engineer, a chemistry graduate and an agriculture university graduate discuss the best way to get rid of your mother in law. The engineer goes first: - I would mess up her car, set the break cables to fail after reaching high speed. Everyone would think it was an accident. Then the chemist tells his idea: - I would find some chemicals that added to her food would cause a heart-atack. She is old so no one would even get suspicious. - A…

Cracks chemistry joke No reaction

Science class! I learned that after binge watching breaking bad that I started to act like jesse pinkman. Teacher: can anyone tell me what element was creted in the Golden state? Some kid: Calafornium Me: Science yeah! Science

Scientist found out... once shown the exit.

Find some scientists! You want to be among your atheist friends? Find some scientists! Even the most deitst among them is deist only in a loosely goosey sense. Most of them believe that science is THE answer and will answer ALL of the questions. Quit bitching and go take a science class.

Cation Pronunciation : [kat-ahy-uhn,-on] -Noun Chemistry 1.An ion with paws-tive charge. 2.The cutest ion ever.

Why there are led lights now! Two physics PhD guys and mathematician PhD after a conference sit in a hotel lobby and having drinks. Suddenly the light bulb burns out over their head and maintenance guy comes and changes the light bulb. While changing it, he hands the burnt out light bulb over to the mathematician who puts it carefully on the desk. After the maintenance guy leaves he says looking at the burned out light bulb: ""You do know guys that if you put a light bulb in your mouth so that s…

Looking for takers for a joke requiring a broad knowledge of russian history/terminology and basic understanding of what computer science is. So I have a joke based on the things in the title, which I tried telling at work today, and got blank faces. Turns out its a kind of niche market (well in the uk), so I'm looking for people with the background knowledge required to whom I can tell this joke without stressin out too much. Thanks

Chemistry joke... I would tell a chemistry joke, but there'd be no reaction.

Particle physics joke The bartender yells, ""We don't serve your kind here!"" A tachyon walks into a bar.

What is 007's favorite subject at school? Chemistry, because he knows a lot about bonds!

Science Jokes Molecule 1: I just lost an electron. Molecule 2: Are you sure? Molecule 1: I'm positive Newton, Pascal and Archimedes are playing hide and seek. Archimedes starts to count, Pascal hides in a bush, and Newton draws a square on the ground and steps into it. Archimedes finds Newton first, of course, but Newton replies, ""Nope. One Newton on one square meter is equal to one Pascal."" When Magnesium and Oxygen started dating I was like, ""O MG!"" -Techinverted

Where would you find the scientist who loved to f$@k dogs? In the lab.

I was in chemistry class with my lab partner... ...and asked him if he wanted some sodium bromide, but to my disappointment, he said NaBro

Weird Question in Exam Q) What do you find in cells? My Ans) Black People . . . I dont know why do they ask such weird questions in biology.

Two scientists walk into a bar The first scientist orders H2O. The second scientist says ""Who the hell goes to a bar and orders water?""

The first day of school I signed up for English, Math, Science and Language. The rest, as they say, was History.

Today in biology class we learnt about all the health problems related to cigarettes Thank god I switched to crack last week

A Hydrogen atom suddenly exclaimed: ""I think I just lost my electron!"" ""Are you sure?"" Asked its friend, ""Yes"" replied the first, ""I'm positive.""

Two atoms are walking down the street... Two atoms are walking down the street together. The first atom turns and says, ""Hey, you just stole an electron from me!"" ""Are you sure?"" asks the second atom. To which the first atom replies, ""Yeah, I'm positive!""

Chemistry Jokes! * When do chemists make jokes? Periodically. * I wanted to make a good chemistry joke, but all the good ones argon! * I made a joke about helium once. Everyone simply went ""He he he!"" If you have a good chemistry joke, feel free to jot it down in the comments! :D

A Physics Joke Atoms are very hard to entertain. Only if you approach them with exactly the right energy they get excited.

What did the nucleus say to get the electron up? Up and atom!

Cake day: How many scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Response: I don't know, I'm no scientist.