Science Jokes

Chemistry joke as told by my teacher Organic Chemistry is hard, if you don't study for the test you'll be in alkynes of trouble.

Porky In high school there was a student named Porky. Everyone at the school knew he was a stoner. One day our science teacher got pissed because everyone failed the test, except for Porky. She yelled ""Maybe you should all start smoking pot, because Porky here is the only one who passed the test!""

God bless USA And Science. And Muhammad And The Buddhist Gods. everyone is offended these days.

A Short History of Military Budget Cutbacks. In 2005, due to budget cutbacks the US army decided to start combining military occupational specialties within the computer science field into new MOSs. Soldiers that joined the army to write software now had to also know hardware. Soldiers that wanted to install cabling now also had to install fiber optic networking. Officers had to learn their new responsibilities just as their soldiers did in order to maintain a good work force. In 2008, more budg…

I hate going to 3rd period Chemistry It's such a Bohr.

In biology they ask us what we find in cells Apparently black people wasn't the right answer. I'll see myself out.

What did the lead researcher say when all of her colleagues were complaining about the experiment? ""I don't care et al.""

There was this guy who liked cable cars, There was this guy who loved cable cars ever since he was young, he just enjoyed watching them roll up and down the large hills of San Francisco(A city in CA), he also enjoyed riding the cable cars, they were such a thrill to him. When he was a little bit older, about 18 or 20, he applied to drive cable cars as a job. He landed it and set out on his first time. It was so exciting and fun, the very thing he loved since he was just a young boy he was now dr…

""Wanna hear a chemistry joke?"" ""Na, man, I'm good."" ""Wow, you didn't have to get salty over it."" (Chemically inaccurate but who cares, right?)

My Wife always asks why I make science jokes. Y*_o_* ?

I've been in chemistry lectures all day... I'm absolutely Bohred to death!

The truth about Chemistry Chemistry is all about experiments. Because Chem-is-try.

What do you call an American linguist, philosopher, cognitive scientist, logician, political commentator, social justice activist, and anarcho-syndicalist advocate who doesn't eat ham? NO-HAM CHOMPSKY

What do you call a fat chemistry professor? A significant figure.

Two atoms are walking down the street... The first atom says ""hey, you just stole my electron!"" The second atom says ""are you sure?"" The first atom says "" yes, i'm positive.""

Penguins are scientist by nature... They always have to improve their slides !

Anyone that tells you beer isn't a solution clearly didn't pay attention in science class.

A Chemistry teacher conducts a surprise test. The students were barely prepared so they end up doing badly on the test. The teacher is angry and says, ""You students can't even write a simple test properly! 50% of you are fools!"" The next day the students look glum and when the teacher asks them why, they say, ""Sir, you had said yesterday that 50% of us are fools, that's why we aren't in a good mood today."" The teacher laughs and says, ""Haha okay then, I take back my words, 50% of you are in…

What do you call a bird that believes in the change in the basic assumptions, or paradigms, within the ruling theory of science? A *parrot*-digm shift.

A scientist tell God that the world doesn't need him anymore... A scientist gets the chance to talk to God. The scientist tells God that the world does not him anymore. Due to the success of cloning, we can create humans and all earthly creatures whenever we want. God, looking irritated, says to the scientist ""I'll tell you what, you create a human and while you are working on that I will create my own. We can call it a race and see who gets done first."" ""Deal"" says the scientist, ""This wil…

A science teacher tells his class. A science teacher tells his class, ""Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773."" A blonde student responds, ""Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it.""

chemistry What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? ""HeHe""

You can never trust an atom because they make up everything

Chemistry Jokes Eat Bananas Because They Have Potassium. K; Can You Tell What is Sodium + Bromine + Oxygen is? NaBrO; Helium, Who Throw My Food? HE is!; What Fish is Made of 2 Alkaline Metal Atoms? 2 Na; (Also, You Can Suggest More Jokes. K)

Reproductive organ In a Biology paper, the students were asked to draw and label a female reproductive organ.Ama found the question difficult.So she opened her skirt and started to draw,looking at her reproductive organ. Akpos,another student fearing that Ama may scorehigher mark than him, raised his hand up and said to the invigilator, Excuse me sir, Ama iscopying from the original.