Science Jokes

Joke my scinence teacher dropped on us A lithium atom walked into a bar and said ""Hey I think I left some electrons in here last night, have you seen any?"" The bar tender replied, ""No, are you sure you lost them?"" The lithium atom replied ""Yes I'm positive...""

An American Tourist Asked A Boat Guy In Zanzibar ""Do You Know Biology, Psychology, Geography, Geology or Criminology?"" the boat guy said, ""No. I Don't Know Any Of These."" The Tourist Then Said, ""What The Hell Do You Know On The Face Of This Earth? You Will Die Of Illiteracy!"" The Boat Guy Said Nothing.... After A While The Boat Developed A Fault And Started Sinking. the Boat Man Then Asked The Tourist, "" Do You Know Swimology And Escapology From Crocodiology?"" The Tourist Said, ""NO!"" T…

I had to do a problem involving air resistance for my physics homework this week. It was a huge drag.

Check Out a Romance I met my husband while I was working in a science library. He came in every week to read the latest journals and eventually decided to take out the librarian instead of the books. After a year and a half of dating, he showed up at the library and started rummaging through my desk. I asked what he was looking for, but he didn't answer. Finally he unearthed one of the rubber stamps I used to identify reference books. ""Since I couldn't find the right engagement ring,"" he said,…

What is the cuddliest particle known to science? The HUGS boson!

I'd tell you a chemistry joke but... I know I wouldn't get a reac- ***JOKE RETRACTED BY THE FINE BROS***

Chemistry Joke (maybe) Bro catches his bro red handed... Bro mine :D

What do you call research to implicate dictators of other countries for murders by biological warfare? ...Foreign sick science.

Unit to measure love friendship & trust Once A Girl Askd Her Bf : Why We Have Units To Measure Weight, Height & Distance But Not Love, Friendship & Trust? . Boy Thought For A While . . . Took Her In His Arms, Looked Deep In Her Eyes & Said Look, DON'T Eat My Brain! I Have Already Failed In Physics :p:D

Physics joke Yo mama so fat she has a spin of 2

L. Ron Hubbard's brothers These come to mind as I drive. L. Ron Hubbard's . . . . . . corporate swindler brother--Enron Hubbard . . . foolish brother--Moron Hubbard . . . oil executive brother--Chevron Hubbard . . . political candidate brother--Electron Hubbard . . . scientist brother--Neutron Hubbard . . . small-measurement specialist brother--Micron Hubbard . . . mechanized replica brother--Animatron Hubbard . . . agricultural researcher brother--Acceleron Hubbard . . . particle accelerating b…

My mum made an accidental physics joke today. Me: What did you do today? Mum: Well, the builders that moved the garage came over and I paid them for their work done.

Some guys are talking to eachother Scientist: I like chemicals Guy: have you seen nyan cat on YouTube? Scientist: I've made a neon cat Guy: have you seen double rainbow all the way? Scientist: there is a 0.00016728% chance of a double rainbow happening Guy: have you ever gone on reddit? Scientist: do to my calculations we're inside of Reddit Guy: what, HOW? Scientist: look, you have no body Guy: wha- how? Scientist: look outside the box! -------m(())m------

A Physics student is standing on the roof of a building preparing to leap to his death.... His professor calls out to him, ""Stop! You have so much potential!""

If you are having trouble getting your posts banned from r/science ""Deal with it""

why can,t you trust a Atom Because thay make up every thing

A priest, a school principal and a lawyer attend a friend's funeral... A priest, a school principal and a lawyer are present at the funeral of a friend of theirs. In his will, the deceased man left the priest, the principal and the lawyer twenty thousand dollars. Each was to place the twenty thousand dollars in the deceased man's casket for him to enjoy in the afterlife. At the wake, the three meet and the priest cracks first. ""I'm sorry to say it, but the church grounds require repairs and I t…

What did the scientist say after attacking his colleague with sodium chloride? That's a salt!

Scientist have created five monkeys with autism. They were promptly made mods of r/jokes

Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL Texting acronyms can stump even the best parents: Mom: Your great-aunt just passed away. LOL. Son: Why is that funny? Mom: It's not funny, David! What do you mean? Son: Mom, LOL means Laughing Out Loud. Mom: I thought it meant Lots of Love. I have to call everyone back. Daughter: I got an A in Chemistry. Mom: WTF! Daughter: Mom, what do you think WTF means? Mom: Well That's Fantastic. ~ Mom: What do IDK, LY & TTYL mean? Son: I don't know, love you, …

According to science... Apaprnlety hmoosxeulas aer brililnat at unscarbmnlig snetnecse.

A bunch of scientists got together one day for a barbecue... ...and were cooking up sausages, but they were one short. They looked in the cooler, the fridge, everywhere they could think to look, but science still has yet to find the missing link.

A scientist walked into a room that was -273C Don't worry though, he was 0K

A Physics teacher was talking about the velocity of a falling ball A student asked, ""Is it an African ball or an European ball?""

SCIENCE!!! Hey reddit, are you a 10 on the pH scale? Because you're pretty basic. ^^^^^jk ^^^^^dont ^^^^^kill ^^^^^me