Science Jokes

So there are 3 scientists in a lab studying flies... There are 3 scientists in a lab studying flies. The first scientist grabs a fly from the jar, rips off its antennae, and says ""Fly, fly!"". The fly flies around the room, then lands back on the table. The scientists writes down in his journal: ""Fly can fly without antennae"" The next scientist grabs a fly from the jar, rips off its legs, and says ""Fly, fly!"" The fly flies around the room, then skids back down onto the table. The scientist …

Science at its finest. Why are all subatomic particles gay? Because they are all atoms

A scientist finally found a way to clone humans by first cloning himself. Physically the clone was a perfect match, however it had mental problems. All day long it would curse and shout vulgarities and insults ad nauseum. At first it was interesting but as time went on the behavior worsened. Day in and day out he would spew an endless stream of obscenity that could make a sailor blush, becoming more and more crude as he went. One day after a fifteen hour tirade about his mother the scientist sna…

Biology, chemistry, and physics are very different from eachother Biology is stuff that scratches and bites Chemistry is stuff that stinks and bubbles and Physics is stuff that doesnt actually work in real life

A scientist managed to clone himself , but the clone had one major flaw - it couldn't stop swearing and behaving in a disgusting manner. The scientist knew that although he had made one of the greatest scientific breakthroughs in history, there was no way he could present such an embarrassing example to the world's press, so he decided to kill the clone and make a less offensive replica of himself. The scientist took the clone to the top of a high cliff with the intention of pushing him over the…

What's a scientist's favorite shade of blue? Cyan-tific.

2 Scientists walk into a bar, one asks for H20 and the other asks for H20 too. The other scientist dies.

What did the HS principal say when he accidentally got a math substitute to fill in for a chemistry teacher? Whoops, wrong sub.

Jokes on Dog Some scientists decided to do the following experiments on a dog. For the first experiment, they cut one of the dog's legs off, then they told the dog to walk. The dog got up and walked, so they they learned that a dog could walk with just three legs. For the second experiment, they cut off a second leg from the dog, then they told the dog once more to walk. The dog was still able to walk with only two legs. For the third experiment, they cut off yet another leg from the dog and onc…

Einstein's chauffeur. When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speech making. ""I have and idea, boss,"" his chauffeur said. ""I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you.…

As a kid i looked up to Bill Nye the science guy, but as of today after learning about him i will probably look down on him. And people at my level would agree. I'm 6'3 and he is 6 feet tall.

how to see if theres a american on this post bill nye the science guy

I received a document about the ROM in my computer science class it was read only.

I'd tell a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn't get a reaction...

Who is the scientist's favorite zombie? The schrodinger cat.

I was walking in a chemistry lab. I tripped on some acid.

A student isn't paying attention in a Chemistry class. The teacher notices this. ""JOSEPH!"" She shouts. Joseph, the student, snaps his head up, to look at the teacher. ""Have you even heard a WORD I've said?!"" she yells. Joseph nods. ""Oh REALLY?! Then, I hope you won't mind telling me and the rest of the class the 116th element on the periodic table!"" Joseph looks at her blankly and goes, ""Uuh...""

What is the most overused force in science? Van der Waals.

My Girlfriend is doing majors in Physics Yesterday she texted me she needs time and distance. I dont even know why she wants to calculate the velocity

Never trust an atom They make up stuff.

I told a chemistry joke once but there was no reaction

A boy's father is ill.. A boy's father is very ill. The boy goes to a Christian Scientist Reading Room and asks the minister to pray for his father. The minister told the boy, ""Your father only thinks he is sick because of his lack of faith. Tell him to pray for faith."" A week later the minister sees the boy and asks, ""Does your father still think he's sick?"" ""No,"" the boy replied. ""Now he thinks he's dead.""

Chemistry teacher: What is Nitrate? Girl: My place, 250...your place 400!

My science teacher keep telling me My science teacher keeps telling me how bad I'm at science. She will be really pissed when I tell her I made a drug that could help humans live for over a light year.

Two guys were working at a sawmill... Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis. ""Incredible!,"" says his friend. ""Medical science is amazing."" Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to t…