*donates body to science* Science: "I have a boyfriend"

Your 'Chemistry' with your girlfriend is great if you remember her 'Periodic Table'.

So my science teacher started class today with ""Relative Dating....."" It's like prom night in Kentucky.

Dad I've got something to tell you.. A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad'. With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands. Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you. I've be…