Science Jokes

A nerdy science joke I was gonna make a joke about sodium, but NA, seeing most of the science jokes Argon, but my friend wanted me to say a joke about sodium, bromine and oxygen but I was like NaBrO

A group of protesters gather outside a physics lab ""What do we want?"" ""Time travel"" ""When do we want it?"" ""Irrelevant""

so that's the reason Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry.

A Physics major finds his girlfriend in bed with another man. He threatens to take matters into his own hands.

I went to an atom party last night. It was crazy, but in the middle of the party a couple splitted up and the party exploded!

I wanted to tell a science joke. But I figured it'd be too quarky.

Why did the atom stick around? Cuz if he split, the situation would have gotten blown out of proportion.

Physics 101: Heat expands objects.. You're fat.. you're hot

There were 3 scientists and elephant and a monkey... The scientists thought it would be scientifically valuable to put a cork up an elephants backside so it couldn't shit, feed it for three months then pull the cork out and measure the results. They thought this would be dangerous so trained a monkey to pull the cork when a red light went. The big day finally came and the highly sophisticated experiment was all set up. the first scientist was 1 mile away, the second scientist was 2 miles away an…

Two scientists walk into a bar The first orders some H2O, the second exclaims ""I'll have some H2O too! The bartender, deciding not to be a dinosaur hammer, gives the scientist water instead of showing off his chemistry skills, preventing the second scientist from dying.

I only know bad chemistry jokes Cause all the good ones Argon

Four students are having a problem with their car... Four students are having a problem with their car and are forced to stop on the side of the road. ""The ignition is damaged"" says the electrical engineer. ""The fuel pipe is clogged"" says the chemist. ""Engines is damaged"" says the engineer. ""Lets just get out of the car and get in again"" says the computer scientist.

What do you do with a scientist after he dies? Barium

An intern is ""spanking it"" in the laboratory. A scientist walks into the lab and catches the intern. He is in shock. ""What on Earth are you doing?"" he asks. The intern does not stop. He takes notes with his other hand and watches the hydrogen ionize. The scientist comes to the conclusion that the intern and the hydrogen are meant for each other; they are both in the excited state.

most intellectual joke Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says , ""I'll have some H2O"". The second scientist says, ""I'll have a glass of water,too. By the way, why did you say H2O? Like, know it's a chemical formula for water and all, but it's the end of the day and there's really no need to intentionally over-complicate things like that in a situation outside of work"" The first scientist stares at his drink, angry that his assassination plot has failed.

A great chemistry Once oxygen and potassium went on a date. It went OK. Then oxygen went on with magnesium. They were OMg. Then oxygen decided to ask out nitrogen, but NO I wanted to tell you a great chemistry joke, but Na.

Did you hear about the dyslexic science teacher? He was teaching the Law of Conversation.

Science confirm that humans can ingest deadly poison or even molten lava. Once

A very bright scientist was conducting experiments on frogs He spent a lot of time teaching them to jump as they heard the word *jump*. And so, after he had 10 frogs that could jump when they heard the word *jump*, he took one to the experimentation room, put the frog on the table. ""*Jump*"" Sure enough, the frog jumped. The scientist wrote a note in his research booklet, then proceeded to cut a leg off the frog. ""*Jump*"" Trying an awkward jump, the frog still managed to flop as it tried to j…

Old experiment #You are now breathing and blinking manually. #also you are aware of your tongue now. Let me know if this worked

My Most Favorite When Albert Einstein was making the rounds of the speaker's circuit, he usually found himself eagerly longing to get back to his laboratory work. One night as they were driving to yet another rubber-chicken dinner, Einstein mentioned to his chauffeur (a man who somewhat resembled Einstein in looks & manner) that he was tired of speechmaking. ""I have an idea, boss,"" his chauffeur said. ""I've heard you give this speech so many times. I'll bet I could give it for you."" Eins…

A chemistry teacher is having problems with her desktop... So she asks the class: ""How do I unfreeze my computer?"" After a few seconds, one student raises their hand and responds: ""What's the melting point?""

I wanted to make a joke about quantum physics, but I wasn't sure if I should. So I did and didn't.

The astrophysics class I wanted to take filled up. Now I need to figure out what other course will work for my schedule and major. It's not rocket science.

The 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Parks, asked her class, ""What human body part increases to ten times its size when stimulated?"" No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, ""You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I'm going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!"" Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, ""Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?""Little Mary's mouth fell open. Th…