What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair (credit to my physics teacher's wife)

My wife's a biology teacher... This morning she asked how I wanted my eggs. I told her, ""Ovariesy.""

What did the creepy scientist say to his new creepy wife? Let's grow MOLD together!

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.