*throws a rock at a bird* Me [writing in "science" journal]: birds don't like rocks.

[press session regarding increase in shark bites] Reporter: Are there more attacks in one area? Scientist: [lips against mic] In the water

[my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down.

My dog just ate a butterfly and probably saved Tokyo from a tidal wave. I don't understand science.