*throws a rock at a bird* Me [writing in "science" journal]: birds don't like rocks.

[my laboratory] ME: I'VE DONE IT! MOUSE WITH EAR GROWING ON IT'S BACK: Holy crap keep it down.

My dog just ate a butterfly and probably saved Tokyo from a tidal wave. I don't understand science.

[Testing Cat-Human Translator] Scientist: Cat, what is your name? Cat: I AM KANG THE DESTROYER Owner: It's not working. His name is Socks.