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George Washington Jokes

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President's Day jokes Q. Why did George Washington have trouble sleeping? A. Because he couldn't lie. Q. What do you call George Washington's false teeth? A. Presidentures! Q. What would George Washington be if he were alive today? A. Really, really, really old! Abraham Lincoln made many humorous quotes and jokes in his lifetime: It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues. Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. Better to re

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The Ambassador to England Just after the war of 1812, an ambassador to England from the United States had been dispatched in order to maintain the peace with the English. The diplomat was invited to a formal dinner with many important members of the English Government as they discussed peace talks and opening diplomacy. In the middle of the dinner, the diplomat excused himself to go to the outhouse. In the outhouse, he found a painting of George Washington hanging there. Upon his return to

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Hillary Clinton is elected president, . . . and on the first night she spends in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the United States?" The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie." She says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that." The next night, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?" The ghost of Thomas Jefferson resp

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Hillary Clinton is elected President. On her first night in the White House (not counting when she was first lady), she is visited by the ghost of George Washington. She asks, "What can I do to help America?" Washington replies "Serve your country selflessly and always be honest" *Hillary laughs in his face* On her second day in the White House, she is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. She asks, "What can I do to help America?" Jefferson replies "Remember that governments derive t

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A collection of humorous anecdotes from the world of education >TEACHER: Maria, please can you find North America on the map. > >MARIA: Here it is. > >TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America? > >CLASS: Maria. ​ >TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? > >JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. ​ >TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile'? > >GLEN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L > >TEACHER: No, that's wrong. > >

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A British spy goes undercover in America and tries to infiltrate the political ranks. To get into politics, he has to pass an oral exam. Examiner: When did the USA gain independence? Spy: July 4, 1776 \- Good. How many continents are there? \- Easy peasy, seven. \- Damn, you're good. Which continent is Turkey in? \- Technically, Turkey is in two continents; Asia and Europe, since some parts of- \*gets cut off\* \-Woah, you know your geography. Let's do some history now.

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After the invention of time travel, many historic figures were brought to the present to experience modern culture with varying degrees of success. George Washington nearly had a heart-attack because of the current state of the two party system, Napoleon tried to conquer Europe once more, and Alfred Einstein became an avid redditer, amongst many other historic events. But out of all the crazy things happening because of time travel, the most unusual thing just happened to be the ancient Romans

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