China Jokes

NORTH CAROLINA:We believe in family values. ME:Like Disney movies? NC:Exactly. ME:Like Mulan, where a cross dresser saves China? NC:...

Right now, somewhere in China, someone is wokking their dog

I wonder if Captain America ever borrows money from Captain China.

In the beginning, God created Heaven and Earth. Everything else was made in China.

I feel sorry for all the responsible bulls out there minding their own business and just looking to buy some nice china.

Most populated places in the world: 1. China 2. India 3. United States 4. Indonesia 5. Friend Zone 6. Hell

If I could have any superpower, I would pick China.

Now that Christmas is over, don't forget to be thankful for all the children in China who made your kid's toys.

Some guy just asked if I was Asian cuz he's China get in my pants. Hope your day is as magical as mine.

one time a kid at recess said i couldnt actually dig a hole to china, i said "Watch me" then walked away. i avoided him the rest of the year

"Finish your peas. Kids in China are starving" "Finish your math. Kids in America are cheating off the Asian kids"

When a relationship becomes too much work can you outsource the work to China?

I wonder if people in China call their crappy plates their "America collection."

My autocorrect changes c**ts to China. Hey don't blame me. I'm not the racist code programmer.

sometimes i remember i was part of the nsa hack back in spring / that all my data is currently floating around china and i'm like "cool"

"As first lady you would be responsible for the White House china. Any thoughts?" MELANIA TRUMP: Oh, Donald says he's getting rid of China

I'm starting my own Build-a-Bear type place except the kids make toys for other kids and it's in China.

*Does something bad* Mom: *tells the entire family, tweets, posts on Facebook, blogs, tells people in china*

How has society let things go so far down hill that it still takes two minutes to make popcorn? China probably can pop corn in one minute.

All I'm saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us but whatever be that way.

In China the labels read, "Made by someone you know."

A panda walks into a restaurant He orders his food just like normal. The waiter brings it out and he eats his meal. When the check comes, the panda pulls out a shotgun and shoots the waiter. He then promptly leaves. The cook sees this and says ""Hey what was that for!?"" The panda replies ""I'm a panda. Look me up in the dictionary."" Once the panda left, the cook brought out a dictionary and looked up the word ""panda."" ""Panda - a black and white bear. Native to China. Eats chutes and leaves.…

Home Loan Troubles So one day Kermit the frog decides that he wanted to buy this new condo by the beach. He goes into the nearest bank and strolls up to the counter. In front of him there was this teller with name badge blaring ""Paddywhack"". Kermit says ""I want a loan"". She goes through usual procedure then asks him about a deposit. He places this little tiny china elephant on the bench and says ""Here's my deposit, give me a loan"". The teller replies ""I'm sorry that's really not good enou…

So there's a little guy sitting at a bar....(heard this years ago, hope it isn't a repost) ...when a much larger, muscular guy walks in who seems to have a chip on his shoulder. The big guy sits down next to the little guy and orders a beer, after a bit the big guy jumps up and completely out of nowhere punches the little guy, knocking him to the floor. ""That's boxing, from Las Vegas."" The little guy picks himself up off the floor, dusts himself off, gets back on his stool and just quietly goe…

Bill and Ted were at a bar... Bill asked, ""Hey where's Dave? Why isn't he here tonight?"" ""Dave is dead,"" said Ted. ""How?"" Ted said, ""Well, he was supposed to pick me up, but when he got to my house, he hit my Ferrari in the driveway, flew through his own windshield, and crashed through my kitchen window."" ""What a terrible way to die!"" ""Well, no, that didn't kill him. He tried to get up off of my kitchen floor, and he grabbed the handle of my refrigerator door for balance, but the frid…