China Jokes

A blonde mother is cleaning the dishes when suddenly... Her similarly blonde daughter rushes in. She's rather excited and is holding a box. ""Mom! Mom! I finally finished that super hard puzzle I've been working on for a year!"" Her mother is happy, but puzzled. ""Let me see that!"" she says as she takes it from her daughters grasp. Her puzzled expression turns into surprise and joy. ""You really did do it! Even in the time limit!"" ""Time limit?"" asks the daughter. ""Yeah! Look here. Underneat…

China, Russia, and Poland venture to space. China says they'll go to Pluto because it's the farthest. Russia says they'll go to Jupiter because it's the biggest. Poland says they'll go to the Sun. Russia and China warn that they'll melt. They reply, ""We'll go at night.""

China has revised its on child per family rule. It will now allow parents to have two children. Chinese parents were so excited, they let their kids have the day off work. Edit: Spelling is hard.

The New Samurai The head samurai of Japan has died, the Emperor is searching for a replacement. He puts out word that all should try out to become the next head of the samurai. 3 men show up, a Samurai from China, a Swordsman from Mongolia and a Jewish samurai. The emperor greats the Chinese samurai and tell him to show his skills. He opens a small wooden box releasing a fly. He proceeds to slice the fly in half. The emperor is impressed and calls upon the Mongolian samurai. The Mongolian also o…

I hear China has abandoned it's one child policy, which is great news. I never could eat just the one

A Chinese man, a mexican, and a Black man are on a row boat Suddenly the rowboat starts taking in water. The three men theorize there is too much mass on the boat, and realize they have to get rid of some of their cargo, particularly something they have too much of in their country. The chinese man throws overboard 12 crates full of cheap, broken merchandise made in China. However, the boat continues sinking. The mexican man then throws 12 crates of taco Cholula hot sauce. Regardless, the boat c…

What's long, hard, and covered in people? The Great Wall of China, pervert.

We can't really blame Donald Trump... I mean look at China; they built a wall and have almost no Mexicans.

Three men stop for lunch on a construction site while working on the 10th floor. The first one, Chang from China says ""I am so bored with what I have been having for lunch. If I have noodles again for lunch, I am going to jump off the building"" And he opens his lunch to find noodles, and promptly jumps off the from the 10th floor to his death. Mario from Italy says ""I agree - I am so sick of pasta for lunch, if I find my lunch is pasta I will jump off the building and kill myself"" He opens h…

Bob's Burgers Two men go to China on vacation, and they find out about a food eating competition. They decide to register for it online, but find out in a reply message that the contest has been challenged due to lack of entrants. They go to a nearby restaurant to eat instead. ""Damn"", one of the men says, ""Now I will never impress anyone here with how much I can eat"". ""Yes you will"", the other man says, ""right after you finish the three burgers you just ordered for yourself."".

What do you call a game of tennis in China Ping Pong

[MILDLY RACIST BUT STILL FUNNY] So Kim jon un and Hitler are having dinner together at hitler's place. So hitler asks for a glass of juice for the two of them, and kim wants to microwave chinese food. Both of their soldiers misinterpret this. The next day 100 jews have died and china doesn't exist anymore.

Question: In China... ...is everything ""Made in China""?

Why was the lesbian nervous about her first trip to China? All the dongs.

made in china an american man's wife who is Chinese dies after 6 months of their marriage. his friend tries to console him and says, ""it's okay bro, she was made in china,how long would that last anyway""

Everything is made in China. But babies are made in Vachina 1

Love & Breakups In China love in China is best , you see her face in every one :) And Breakups In China Are Worst, You See Her Face Everywhere. :P P.S. I don't think breakup Happens in China Being Having Similar Face dey Cn Cheat Der Gf's by telling Them I thought its u. LOL!

The Chinese Emperor and the Barbarians. After China constructed the Great Wall, the barbarians attacked, and yelled 'Emperor, emperor, let me in!', At which point the emperor responded 'Not by the hair of my Qinny, Qin, Qin!'

A white man walks into a bar and sees a black man who looks Sudanese. The white man asks him ""are you from China?"" The black man replies ""no."" The white Man then asks ""are you related to anyone from china?"" The black man looks at him and says ""no, I am not"" The white asks again ""were you born in China?"" The black gets annoyed and answers ""yes I was. And I am Chinese and my name it's ching Ming"" The white looks at him says ""that is weird. You look Sudanese."" P.s. sorry for the forma…

A man storms angrily into a clothes shop and shouts: ""Look, this shirt has shrunk at least 3 sizes and the label says ""Guarantee No Shrink""!!!"" The shop owner coolly replies:""Ah, but in China, they read from right to left, so Shrink No Guarantee!""

Just some racist jokes **What happens if all Americans jumped and landed at the same time?** The planet will shatter under the shitload of obese people **How can you tell if something's fake?** If it's from China **Francium is known to disappear quickly, but why is it named after France?** Because it disappears just as quickly as the French disappears from the battlefield

So, Slovakia is declaring war to China... And there is diplomats' meeting held before start. China's diplomat is asking things like: ""Slovakia? Where it even is? And how big are you? How many are there of you?"", on which Slovakian diplomat proudly answers: ""Four and half million"". China's diplomat smiles and says: ""There's 2 billion of us!"" The Slovakian diplomat looks bit startled: ""Damn..."", then makes long pause, ""where the hell are we supposed to bury all of you, guys?""

The euthanasia has decreased in China since 1980. Because of the introduction of the ""one-child policy.""

I've been thinking of getting into the warehousing business... I've heard it's blowing up in China

Why did China write such a shit constitution? Because two Wongs can't make a right!