China Jokes

A translated Chinese Joke *Apologies in advance, as this joke does not translate cleanly. I had to adapt part of it so it could make sense* A eunuch (think Varys from Game of Thrones) was wandering around town. Back in ancient China, many high ranking jobs had castration as a requirement. This particular eunuch was a public official, but was also extremely insecure about his condition. He would throw fits over anything perceived as an insult, and was not liked. The official eventually came to th…

You're one in a million China has a population of a billion people. One billion. That means even if you're a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

An American in China An American visits China for the first time and finds himself in a small gift shop. He finds a bronze statue of a mouse that he really likes so he asks the shopkeeper about it. ""It's 10 for the statue but you'll have to pay more for the story behind it."" The American pays for the statue but doesn't spring for the story. He starts walking down the road and notices a mouse is following him. He breaks into a light jog but the mouse keeps up, and more mice start to follow him.…

China always cheat in the Olympics They always use the same person for every sport

UN Survey Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:- ""Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"" The survey was a huge failure because of the following: 1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what ""honest"" meant. 2. In Western Europe they didn't know what ""shortage"" meant. 3. In Africa they didn't know what ""food"" meant. 4. In China they didn't know what ""opinion"" meant. 5. In the M…

What did the guy in China say to the Chinese couple who finally got approved to adopt? Con-grab-ur-asians!!

I married a hot girl from China So I can eat Chinese every night!

A little Indian boy asked his father... ...the big chief and witch doctor of the tribe, ""Papa, why is it that we always have long names, while the white men have shorter names - Bill, Tex or Sam, for example?"" His father replied, ""Look, son, our names represent a symbol, a sign, or a poem for our culture not like the white men, who live all together and repeat their names from generation to generation. Also, it is part of our makeup that in spite of everything, we survive. For example, your s…

What do you call a dog with lice in China? Full course dinner

English Speakers There are more English speakers in China than in the United States.

TIL: Phonebooks are banned in China Because there are so many Wings and so many Wongs, you might Wing the Wong number.

America is still a British colony In England we speak English In France we speak French In Germany we speak German In China we speak Chinese In America we speak English *drops mic and leaves*

In Chinese culture the great wall represents true longevity. It's the only thing from China that lasts more than a few weeks.

""Class, can anyone name the space probe currently orbiting Jupiter?"" **Exchange student from Nanjing, China**: Juno!   **Teacher**: I *do* know the answer, that's why I'm asking all of you. Does anyone else know the answer? Extra points to whomever answers it correctly!   **Exchange student from Nanjing, China**: Juno! Juno! *Juno!*   **Teacher**: Wally! That is it! Go to the principles office immediately! *Note that the exchange student is one of the top students in…

Why is there no phone books in china? Because theres so many wings and wongs you wing the wong number.

How many Americans does it take to change a light bulb? None. According to Trump, they outsourced it to India & China.

What do you call a cheap maid uniform? Maid in China.

Help us choose a new name for our nonprofit. We're teenagers in China and Japan helping senior citizens. Apparently 'Youth in Asia for the Elderly' isn't having the effect we thought it would.

Ever wondered why china has over 1 billion population? Cause the condom they use is ""Made in china""

Why doesn't China have a phone directory? Because there are so many Wings and Wongs they'd still wing the wong number.

To /r/news China just called, they want their censorship back.

A NY city guide and a black man are talking... The black man says ""I have seen China town,Little italy and Greek town but where is 'Little Africa'"" The New York City guide responds collectively ""You're in the wrong city, Detroit is a few hundred miles west""

3 Chinese mens Name Chu,Bu and Fu went to America illegally They decided to change their names to sound American Chu change his name to Chuck,Bu change his name to Buck and Fu got sent back to China

China recently banned girls from eating bananas on live streams... so now the people with hemorrhoids can now get off from girls eating raspberries instead.

How do you get a job with Apple? Be born in China.