China Jokes

How can you tell if your ""designer clothes"" are made in China? If they look fabric-cated Very bad, I know. *sniffsyourmomspanties* *smacksself* ""This is why we don't have friends!!"" *Is talking to self*

best men's joke ever The guy sent this letter to the men's magazine. I need advice and its emergency! Not long ago i started realizing that my wife is cheating on me!Very obvious:if someone calls her and im around-she just hangs up on them, she have girls nights with her girlfriends way to often and when i ask who is all gonna be there she says that i dont know them, i always wait for a cab she takes when she comes home but she ask them to drop her off one block away so i would not know what the…

They are removing all the phones in china Seems too many Wings got the Wong number

I wanted to buy a patriotic decoration on my trip to China... but I worried the US customs officer would see it as a red flag.

Look it up in the dictionary A panda bear walks into a restaurant. He orders the special and eats it. After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door. The owner of the restaurant says, ""Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word. I don't understand."" The panda says, ""Look it up in the dictionary,"" and walks out the door. So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading ""Panda"". It rea…

Tanslated East German Jokes A man walks to the dock where he sees a big cargo ship. He shouts: ""Where are you heading?"" The captain answers: ""We are a trading ship loaded with industrial goods and are headed for St.Petersburg to trade with the sowjet union."" The man: ""Oh and with what are you getting back?"" The captain: ""If we are lucky we get back with our ship."" -------- The sowjet Union and the people's republic of China had some border conflict where Moscow threated to use nukes. Aft…

If I had a nickel for every time I was right and my parents were wrong. . . I would owe more than what America owes China.

China has a new mid-range rocket called the 'Dong Feng'... ...there is another rocket under development called the 'Pon.'

I heard they banned phones now in China Apparently there is so many Wings and so many Wongs they keep Winging the Wong number.

A man opens a china shop. On the first day, a woman walks in with a pet cat. She asks, ""Is it okay if I bring my cat in here with me? I promise, she won't break any of your china."" So the shop owner says ""Sure, let her in."" On the second day, a man walks in with a pet dog. He asks, ""Is it okay if I bring my dog in here with me? I promise, he won't break any of your china."" So the shop owner says ""Fine, let him in."" Now the shop owner is getting a bit annoyed that he has to answer the sam…

Topical Jokes for 6/3 In China, researchers have found a pair of pants that are 3,000 years old. The researchers described the pants as ""not fashionable, at all."" The secret service is purchasing new software that will detect sarcasm.The secret service will use the sarcasm-detecting program to hunt down Jerry Seinfeld. Witnesses that saw the driver who returned Miley Cyrus' stolen car described him as a young man wearing a t-shirt and skinny jeans. Which happens to be a pretty accurate descrip…

Measurements in China. How long is a China man?

A Priest and Uluru joke/riddle I know that this will be long, but its totally worth it. So, their is this traveler, by the name of John, who loves travelling around the world. He has been to 153 countries and seen what their is to see (Eiffel tower, Statue of Liberty, Taj Mahal, Great wall of China etc.) He has previously been to Australia before, but didn't see Uluru (he was only their for three days) So, he decided to go from New York-Sydney-Alice Springs-Uluru. He went by QANTAS, you need to …

Let's spare a thought for the Malaysian business man on flight MH370..... who told his wife that he was going to China for a meeting and now can't leave his girlfriend's apartment.

What sound does a doorbell make in China? ping pong.

China must be a huge sausage-fest by now.

I heard that the factories in China will be close until the next GOP president. A liberal joke

American, Japanese and Indonesian in China There's an American, Japanese and Indonesian on a crew boat in China. The American lights up a cigarette with his zippo, and then throws the zippp into the sea. The Indonesian says ""why you throw away your zippo? "" the American replies ""in America we have many zippos, I can get another one no problem"". The Indonesian thinks this man is crazy. Then the Japanese checks the time on his casio watch, and after he throws the watch into the sea. ""Why you …

A hilarious Polish joke my grandmother told me. My grandmother told me this joke many times. It actually happened to her. Enjoy! In the mid-1970's, my grandma loved to travel. She would go all over the world. She landed in China after a long flight, and exited the plane to go claim her baggage. As she was minding her business waiting in line, all of a sudden she gets knocked over by someone. My grandma fell to the floor immediately. After she fell, she looked up at the guy responsible for pushin…

A man goes to China for a business trip November... ... And the hotel that he stays at is rather close to the business so he decides to walk there. While walking there he sees an blind old monk sitting by the road. He seemed to be meditating so he ignored him. On the way back from his meeting, the same blind monk stands up and stops him. The monk then whispers in his ear ""You shall receive a toolbox, a number of books (4 to be exact), and a new car this holiday"". The monk then sits right back …

A fugitive in Russia The room was packed. Military officials, informants, and members of the cabinet surrounded the President, anxiously waiting for the situation's broadcasting to begin. A man walked into the room, his striped suit sleek but worn in that way that seems particular to those with stressful jobs. ""Mr. President, we've got good news, and bad news,"" he announced, steadily yet nervously stepping to his place at the front of the room. ""Walt, you know I, uhhh, value your opinion. You…

A married pair of Biologists are camping in China... And after a long day of cataloging the various flora and fauna, they get down to a little love making... When suddenly, the man feels an ungodly pressure in his stomach. He leaves hastily to the woods to find a suitable place to relieve himself, leaving his wife alone in the tent. Outside the tent, she can hear a rustling, and after a few tense moments, a Panda sticks its head through the tent flap. It lurches in, tears off the woman's blanket…

A Chinese, A Mexican, A black guy and a White guy.. are standing by the edge of a cliff. The Chinese guy says,"" This is for all my peopre back in China."" and he jumps off the cliff. The Mexican guy says,"" This is for all my amigos back in Mexico."" and jumps off the cliff. Then, the black guy says,"" This is for all my brothas back in brooklyn."" and pushes the white guy off the cliff.

TRUE STORY A MAN IN CHINA WAS HOSPITALIZED FOR HAVING AN EEL UP HIS BUTT 1. DID HE RUN OUT OFGERBILS? 2. WAS AN ELECTRIC EEL AN OPTION? 3. ANSWERS THE AGE OLD QUESTION: WHAT CRAWLED UP YOUR ASS AND DIED

An ancient Chinese story Long ago in ancient China, the Wong brothers ruled 2 kingdoms, side by side. Life was well, until a neighboring kingdom decided to invade both the brother's domains. Citizens were killed and villages were burned to the ground. Desperate, the brothers turned to magic. Meeting up, they devised a magical ceremony and went through with it. It was successful, and the enemies turn and ran while the destruction was reversed. Ecstatic, one brother had his transcript detail the c…