NOBODY TELLS ME WHAT TO DO! Except my government, boss, his wife, my girlfriend, my parents, my doctor, friends, neighbours, their dogs...

Three women walk into a doctors office... (x-post from r/funny) ...So the doctor calls in the first one in for her exam. she takes off her shirt and has a big H tattooed on her chest. The doctor asks why there is an H on her chest to which she says: ""My husband went to Harvard and he likes to see the H when we do it."" The doctor finishes his exam and sends her on her way. The doctor calls the second one in. When she takes off her shirt, the doctor notices a big Y on her chest. When the doctor …

So a redhead, a brunette, and a blonde all work in a very small office One day their boss Ms. White tells them, ""Hey guys, I am going to knock off a little early. I'll see you tomorrow."" Well, the three ladies start talking and they all decide that since the boss wasn't around, they were going to leave too. The red head went to meet her friends at a bar, the brunette called her boyfriend and went to a movie, but the blonde just went home. When she got there she heard noises coming from her bed…

A man phones his wife and asks her: ""Honey I've been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week ... A man phones his wife and asks her: ""Honey I've been asked to go fishing in China with my boss for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get the promotion. So could you please pack enough clothes for a week, set out my rod & fishing box. We're leaving from office & I'll swing by the house to pick my things. Oh, Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas!"" The wife noticed tha…