China Jokes

The Great Wall of China proves that Trump's wall will work... ... throughout many centuries no Mexican has ever breached it.

A Panda Walks Into a Bar A panda walks into a bar and orders a beer and a hamburger. After he eats he stands up, stretches, and pulls out a gun. He proceeds to shoot everyone in the room but the bartender. The panda puts $20 on the bar and turns to leave. As he walks out the door the bartender asks why the panda shot everyone. The panda tells him to look in the encyclopedia. The bartender looks up panda and he reads ""Panda: Large black and white mammal native to China. Eats shoots and leaves.""

There is only two man made objects visible from space. The great wall of china and, Kim Jong Un's giant ass. cmon guys I cant do this all by myself.

The Great Wall of America... ...is gonna be made in China.

I was browsing r/Jokes last night and my girlfriend told me that she doesn't know why I bother trying to make people laugh on the internet for useless virtual points and that the only joke I have is in my underwear. So here goes: ""Marks and Spencer, Medium 33-35 inch waist, 90% cotton, 10% elastene, Made in China, Part of a 2 part set""

A Scotsman, and Englishman, and a Chinese man take a hotair ballon ride over the UK... As they take off, the Scotsman gazes down and marvels ""Ahh my beautiful Scotland!"" As the cross the border the Englishman gazes down and says ""Ahh my beautiful England!"" The Chinese man takes out a saucer, throws it over the side and says ""Ahh my beautiful china!""

Why do Chinese tourists get disappointed when they visit America? Because when they buy souvenirs they find out they were made in China.

My wife recommended I do some light reading to relax at the end of the day... Not really relaxing, as my eyes are in pain, but I managed to make out, ""60 Watts - Made in China.""

Oldie - -Communist China telegrams Soviet Russia Communist China: WE ARE OUT OF FOOD. SEND GRAIN Soviet reply: WE ARE ALSO OUT OF FOOD. TIGHTEN YOUR BELTS Communist China: SEND BELTS

Which global disasters happen when you drop a roast turkey? The downfall of Turkey, the break-up of China, and the overthrow of Greece.

So, the Presidential Election is only a little over weeks away and I still haven't decided... ...if I should learn Russian, Chinese, Arabic or Spanish Because we will probably have a war against Russia and lose, or get economically crushed by China, or get sold out to the Arabs, or get overran by Mexicans.

3 artisans met on a boat One was French, another one was Indian and the last one was Chinese. One day on a long boring cruise, they decided to collaborate on a piece of art. All 3 agreed and the Indian started to work on a clay vase. Once it was done, the other 2 stared at it and complimented the Indian. It was the French guy's turn. He painted pretty floral designs on the vase and it turned out really well. He too got a compliment from the others. Now it was the Chinese guy's turn. He flipped t…

A Man throws a stick The stick lands on a car, the dog follows it. The car goes to JFK airport, the dog follows it. 'Come back!' Yelled the man, but to no avail. The stick lands in baggage, the dog goes into another baggage in hopes of finding the stick. The respective owners of the baggages are both going to China, 24 hours later, they arrive at the Hong Kong international airport. The dog retrieves the stick, and goes around the airport finding for the plane going to JFK Airport, the confused …

Made in ....... In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth... After that, everything else was made in China.

A panda walks into a restaurant and orders some spaghetti. The waiter is surprised but still serves his order. The panda eats the spaghetti slowly while reading a dictionary. After he is finished, he pulls out a gun, shoots the waiter and exits the restaurant. The manager is staggered by the turn of events and moves to check what the panda had left behind. He sees the open page on the dictionary and finds the following definition of 'panda': ""a large bear-like mammal with characteristic black-a…

Live debate - where is the ""China"" counter? Someone must be doing this :)

Four Chinese brothers.... ...named Chu, Bu, Hu, and Fu decided to go to the United States of America. They had to Americanize their names in order to get a Visa... so Chu became CHUCK, Bu became BUCKS, HU became HUCK, and FU decided to remain in China...

How it's made A dentist noticed that his next patient, an elderly lady, was looking very nervous so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves. ""Do you know how they make these gloves?"" he asked. ""No, I don't"" she replied. Well,"" he spoofed, ""there's a building in China with a big tank of latex and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size."" She didn't crack a smil…

A panda walks into a cafe. He orders a sandwich, eats it, then draws a gun and proceeds to fire it at the other patrons. ""Why?"" asks the confused, surviving waiter amidst the carnage, as the panda makes towards the exit. The panda produces a badly punctuated wildlife manual and tosses it over his shoulder. ""Well, I'm a panda,"" he says. ""Look it up."" The waiter turns to the relevant entry in the manual and, sure enough, finds an explanation. ""Panda. Large black-and-white bear-like mammal, …

Why, with twice the population of the United States at the time didn't China invent the airplane first? Well, two Wongs don't make a Wright.

China Joke So I was walking around the other day and I saw a Chinese guy fall out of a 2nd story window. I ran up and in English yelled, ""Are you ok?!?"" He replied, ""I am fine, thank you, and you?""

How is it that rice originated from China to become a staple food for a large part of the world's human population? I mean, come on! They couldn't even pronounce it.

China has one of the largest manufacturing and exporting economies in the world. What product of theirs is most commonly exported? Newborn girls.

This is for my people Four guys, white, black, Hispanic and Asian, are all on a plane filled with care packages. They fly over China, where the Asian guy throws over a crate filled with chopsticks and rice as he yells, ""This is for my people!"" Next, they fly over Mexico, where the Hispanic guy throws over a crate filled with tacos and salsa as he yells, ""This is for my people!"" After that, they fly over Texas, where the white guy throws over a crate filled with beer and hamburgers as he yell…

Switzerland declares war on China. The Chinese President is informed by one of his aides that Switzerland has declared war on them. The president calmly asks: ""What's the population of Switzerland?"", the aide replies: ""8 million, sir"", and so the president says: ""Alright, which hotel will they be staying at?"".