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A woman asked a General in the army the last time he made love to a woman, the general stood tall and said ""1956 ma'am."" The woman, taken back by this answer said ""1956?! That long?! Let me make your night better..."" and the two sauntered away to their private room. She began to strip and the two made passionate love for an hour. The woman cuddled up to the army general afterward and said ""well, you sure haven't forgotten anything since 1956..."" The general looked at her confused and said

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Where did Napoleon keep his armies? In order to concentrate superior combat strength in one place, economy of force must be exercised in other places. Economy of force requires the acceptance of prudent risks in selected areas to achieve superiority at the point of decision. One account has it that Napoleon allowed a subordinate to draw up a plan for the disposition of his troops. Not knowing what the Emperor wanted, the subordinate distributed the forces equally in neat little groups along the

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3 POW were being held in a British camp; a German, a Japanese man, and an Italian. The British began by torturing the German. After long hours of silence infected by bloodcurdling screams, he talked, and was sent back to the prison, ashamed. He told the others what he had done and urged them to be stronger than he was. They next began torturing the Japanese man. Through all the pain and agony, he stayed strong for three days, but in the end, talked. He was sent back to the prison, having brought

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Donald Trump was interviewed for his list of favorite things. Q: What's your favorite Disney movie? A: Snow White Q: What's your favorite song? A: White Light, White Heat Q: What's your favorite Christmas song? A: White Christmas Q: What's your favorite rock band? A: White Snake Q: What's your favorite movie in general? A: Black Mass Q: That's an interesting break from the pattern. What's it about? A: A guy named Whitey Bulger. Q: (forehead slap)

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British Royalty! Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall bought new shoes for her wedding. During the big day they became increasingly tighter and tighter as the day went on. That night, when the festivities were finally over and they retired to their room, she flopped on the bed and said, ""Charles, darling, please remove my shoes, my feet are killing me!"" Her ever-obedient Prince of Wales attacked her right shoe with vigour, but it would not budge. ""Harder!"" yelled Camilla, ""Harder."" Charles yel

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American and Russian soldier died and went to hell. Once they got there, they were greeted by Devil. ''You have both killed people and now ypo are going to hell for that. But, you have a choice. You can go to eastern or western hell.'', said the devil. ''What's the difference?'' asked soldiers. ''Well, as always, devil in details. It's the small things. For example in eastern hell you have to eat a bucket of vomit everyday, and in westers only one spoon. Eastern is mostly populated with Orthodox

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Two American soldiers have taken cover in a foxhole during an offensive in France during ww2. The enemy fire power is fierce, and they are unable to advance or retreat. Shells are zinging past them like wasps, and errant ricochets unnerve them. Mortar shells explode all around and the two men are sweating lest a shell might land atop of them. As the evening wears on and nerves become frazzled in the stifling heat, one of the men confides that he has to go to the bathroom really bad. ""Number 1 o

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A Tale of Two Photos A solider out at war, missing his mother and his girlfriend, decided to take a couple of pictures of himself to send to them. For his mother, he dressed up real nice and took a picture of himself from the torso up. For his girlfriend, he decided to take a picture of his nether regions. The solider then took the photos to the post office to be sent out. Unfortunately the photos got switched while sending, and so the girlfriend and the mother received the opposite photos. When

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Death of a General An army general selected group of personal aids to come along with him when he was visiting a battlefield. At the debriefing, he instructed them that they must follow his instructions no matter what even if the directions seemed dangerous or counterintuitive. The aids were armed with standard gear and weapons, and they departed for the battlefield. Once they arrived, the general decided he wanted to snap a surprise picture of the group with his new camera. He stood up from be

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