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A man goes to confession... A war has just ended and a man decides to have a confession. He asks father, ""forgive me for i hid another man in my attic from the war."" Father replies,""what is wrong with that? That is no sin!"" The man replies, ""but i also made him pay me to hide him."" Again the father replies, ""that is still no sin, for you offered a service for it. He must really be thankful that you did this for him. Now that the war is over what does he do? The man answered, ""well thats

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Bill Gates is walking at his private beach... (sorry for my bad english) Bill Gates is walking at his private beach when suddenly an old bottle is washed to the beach. He takes an open it and a genie appears. The genie says: 'You got one wish. Whatever it is i will fulfill it.' Gates is thinking but then he responds: 'Here is a map of every war who is going on in the world. I want peace everywhere.' 'I'm sorry but i can't do that.' the genie replies: 'There are so many wars and I am just a simpl

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Irish WW2 pilot An old Irish World War II Spitfire pilot and flying ACE, was speaking in a church and reminiscing about his war experiences. ""In 1942,"" he says, ""the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember,"" he continues, ""one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these Fokkers appeared."" There are a few gasps from the parishioners, and several of the children began to giggle. ""I looked up, and realized that two of the Fo

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Old Aunt Mildred Aging Aunt Mildred was a 93-year-old woman who was particularly despondent over the recent death of her husband. She decided that she would just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking that it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out his old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart, since it was badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's of

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The March of the Number Line Why was 10 afraid? Because it's in the middle of 9/11. 10 has since moved past that, but now 10 is afraid of 7. Why? Because seven ate nine. Now that 9 is out of the way and 8 (having the only pair of working handcuffs) is dealing with 7, 10 is no longer afraid, but 6 is. Why you ask? Because 5 is a registered 6 offender. 4 is also in for a bit of trouble on its trip to France. After all, un deux, trois, cat sank. So now that 9 has been eaten, 10 has gone into protec

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A Concerned Chinese General One day, Fang Changlong became nervous about the location of China's navy ships. He voiced this concern to the president, Xi Jinping, and said, ""I'm worried about our ships in the south. There's a path that's too narrow, and may lead to the destruction of our fleet, if we aren't careful."" Xi understood his reasoning, but felt confident in his men nonetheless. He responded, ""It might be a challenge to fit all through, but they will be fine."" Still unsure, Changlong

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The teacher asked the class to make up a poem. Mrs. Krabappel asked the class to make up a poem with the word fascinate in it. Millhouse was up first and he said, ""I really like my mom, I think that she is great, she tells us lots of stories that always fascinate."" ""Good job Millhouse"" she said, ""Ok who's next?"" Lisa put up her hand and was called up. ""My step-grampa was in the war and even though were not related, he also tells me stories and I am always fascinated"" ""Great job Lisa, yo

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