Hillary Jokes

There are two ways to trigger a nuclear chain reaction: ... The first involves hitting uranium with accelerated protons. The second is mentioning Hillary and Feminism in one sentence.

The Pope originally wanted to invite Hillary to speak but the Vatican couldn't afford it.

Monica Lewinsky says she WILL endorse Hillary for president... ..says Hillary Clinton ""doesn't suck.""

I've got good news and bad news: the bad news is that it's either trump or Hillary for president... The good news is that by 2020 America will be in ruins and Kanye will never get a chance to run.

What did the lesbian rattlesnake say to Hillary after they finished making love? ""You know, they're right . . . we do taste like chicken!""

While Bill is on a trip to Paris, Hillary visits Monica at her private home. Hillary gets invited into the house, then all of a sudden she becomes furious when she smells Bill inside the house. She says, ""It's 2016! What's Bill doing there?"" Monica replies, ""Relax, he's not here. I just burped"".

Did yo hear about the Hillary special at KFC? Two fat thighs and a left wing for $2.99

Hillary is single handedly taking on the pay gap. And here I thought all those speeches fees from Goldman Sachs were for political favour.

Hillary said she wants to be the next president because there haven't been many women in the Oval Office. Bill said, ""That's not true, there's been plenty of women.""

Why won't Monica Lewinsky be voting for Hillary? Because the last Clinton presidency left a very bad taste in her mouth.

Hillary got 60% of the black's votes in Alabama That's right, not a single vote for Bernie.

Contrary to popular criticism, Hillary doesn't suck. If she does, Bill wouldn't have needed Monica.

People who feel the Bern but don't like the sensation have been voting instead for Hillary.... ... or as they like to call her, Preparation H

Hillary, fighting to be the first woman President, leads Sanders in the South Carolina Democratic Presidential Primary - Clinton 61%, Sanders 31% As Senator Lindsay Graham put it: ""South Carolina is Bush country."" I know, it's terrible.

Hillary Clinton was invited to address a major gathering of the American Indian Nation two weeks ago in upstate New York. She spoke for almost an hour about her plans for increasing every Native American's present standard of living. She referred to her time as a U.S. Senator and how she had voted for every Native American issue that came to the floor of the Senate.   Although Hillary was vague about the details of her plans, she seemed most enthusiastic and spoke eloquently about her i…

SB50 Panthers and Broncos coin toss Hillary won the coin toss

Hillary and Bernie walk into a bar... Hillary says that she shouldn't buy the drinks because she is Hillary. Bernie says that the drinks should be free for everyone. America dies.

The US can't rely on Hillary Clinton to create jobs The last meaningful job Hillary had was outsourced to Monica Lewinsky... ...and Monica blew it!

To coincide with the Democratic debate tonight that nobody will watch the DNC is releasing its new fundraising product - Hillary Clinton butt plugs... The DNC recommends not using any lube with the product because Hillary is naturally the best fit for the job!

Why you shouldnt vote for Hillary because Bill always chose someone other than Hillary, and you should too

Did you all see the shots fired at the Democratic debate just now!!???? Hillary really took aim at Bernie over gun control.

With the election coming close, I trust Bill Clinton the most... He always picked someone other than Hillary, so I will too.

Since this is Obama's last year... He decides to throw a small private party and invites the candidates running for president this year. He invites Hillary Clinton, Jeff Bush and of course the smart and talented Donald Trump on his private jet party. They are the only people on the jet plane and are flying over the tropical islands. After about couple of hours of cruising, the pilot cries frantically, ""We seem to have a problem, the plane is going to crash due to some malfunction. We have only …

Monica Lewinsky released a statement on Hillary Clinton's run for president ""I will not vote for Hillary,"" she said. ""The last Clinton president left a bad taste in my mouth.""

Trump, Hillary and Sanders walk into a bar... Hillary: ""This rhetoric has gotten out of control. I want to make peace. First round's on me. Vodka sodas all around!"" They have a good time and finish their drinks. Bernie's up next. ""I'd like to buy a round but there's nothing Kosher here."" Trump, ""My bad.""