News: Hillary won the debate! My friends: Bernie won the debate! Trump: I won the debate! Huckabee: Asian people eat dogs!

If President Trump passes away while in office, he will never admit it because... ...he'll continue tweeting denials about it from the grave: === --- >>###Yes, it is true - Tupac Shakur, the great Afro-American musician, called me about getting together for a meeting. We met, HE IS A GREAT GUY! >> Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 28, 2017 --- === --- >>###VERY dishonest coroner's report says I died. How crooked are they. Why did they only complain after Hillary lost?…

Hillary Clinton and Bernie sanders are having dinner together! Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders were having dinner when Hillary said to Bernie ""Let me get you a knife"" Bernie said ""I'll just use this one you put in my back""

An angry Hillary storms into Satan's office and yells ""You told me I was going to win!"" Satan looks up from the paper and says, ""Well, you told me you had a soul.""