Hillary Jokes

If Hillary wins the election... Will she hire immigrants to install the glass ceiling in the White House?

I'm so tired of people saying Hillary sucks... She doesn't. Just ask Bill and Monica.

What did trump say to hillary after the debate? WRONG! and hillary replied : he is a lier and he cannot be trusted

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."" I will definitely win the election. Then Donald says to Hillary, ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the same result."" Donald goes to the own…

Karma Tyrone was having trouble in school; his teacher was always yelling at him, ""You're driving me crazy, Tyrone; can't you learn anything? One day Tyrone's mother came to school to see how he was doing. The teacher told her honestly that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and that she had never had such an unmotivated and ignorant boy in her entire teaching career. Tyrone's mom, shocked at the feedback, withdrew her son from school and moved out of Detroit, relocating to …

If Trump and Hillary were both drowning in a lake... would you want regular or sweet potato fries with your burger?

It was fortunate that Hillary had a moderator Lester temper get out of hand.

Hillary & Trump goes into a bakery Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."" I will definitely win the election. The Donald says to Hillary, ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest way to get the…

The Presidential Debate We don't know if Hillary is telling the truth, and we're hoping Trump isn't

Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery... Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump go into a bakery. As soon as they enter the bakery, Hillary steals three pastries and puts them in her pocket. She says to Donald, ""See how clever I am? The owner didn't see anything and I don't even need to lie."" I will definitely win the election. The Donald says to Hillary, ""That's the typical dishonesty you have displayed throughout your entire life, trickery and deceit. I am going to show you an honest …

The Clintons were driving around Bill's home town A couple of years after Bill Clinton had left office he and Hillary were driving around his hometown in Arkansas. There at a gas station they saw a man who worked there pumping gas who was about the same age as Bill. Playfully Bill asked Hillary what her life would have been like if she married that guy instead of him. Hillary turned to him coldly and said, ""that man would have been president and you would still be pumping gas. ""

I'm in a room with Trump, Hillary and a gun and I'm allowed to legally shoot one of them. Whoever lives becomes president. Who do I shoot? Myself.

Bill and Hillary are sitting in a limo. As they are in the middle nowhere the driver tells them that they need to refuel. Seeing as there is only a single gas station for miles around the secret service race ahead to secure the location. When the Clinton's arrive they are greeted by the lone gas attendant. Hillary notices him and chuckles a bit as she explains to Bill that he was an old boyfriend of hers. Bill puts on a big grin and says ""Well aren't you glad you married me"". ""Not really"" Hi…

Obama : The people are worried Hillary is not focused.... How is her head currently??? Bill Clinton: Well she's no Monica... But she's good.

Hillary and Trump jokes [somewhat off topic] I am incredibly sorry if this is against this subreddit's rules. For my English class we are exploring alternative types of text. We had to select five and chose reddit as one because, well you know, you guys are all special ;). Please give Submit both Trump and Hillary jokes if your have any but please keep them sfw for the most part. I do not intend for this to become a political debate so please don't make it one. Thanks

Clinton consults the past Hillary went for a walk one morning and came upon the Washington monument. She asked, ""George, what should I do?"" After a few seconds a ghostly voice replied, ""Abolish the IRS and start over."" She thought about this for a few seconds and continued her walk. Shortly afterwards she stepped up to the Jefferson Memorial and stopped to ask ""Tom, what should I do?"" After a few seconds Tom's disembodied voice replied, ""Abolish welfare and start over."" She thought about…

I was wrong about Hillary not having sufficient doctoring. Turns out she's surrounded by spin doctors.

Trump and Hillary walk into a bakery. While the owner isn't looking, Hillary steals three cakes and slips them into her pocket, whispering to Trump, ""Look at how smart I am, I stole three cakes and the owner didn't notice a thing."" Trump scoffs. ""Watch this. I can do so much better. I can eat three cakes right in the open and not even get in trouble."" He strides up to the owner and says, ""Hey guy. Gimme three cakes and I'll show you a magnificent magic trick."" Bemused, the owner agrees. Tr…

Donation Request ----SENT FROM FORMER 3 STAR GENERAL, FORMER SENATOR, ROBERT WINGLASS ( AND CLASSMATE ) Dear Friends: I have the distinguished honor of being a member of the Committee to raise $50,000,000 for a monument to Hillary R. Clinton. We originally wanted to put her on Mt. Rushmore until we discovered there was not enough room for her two faces. We then decided to erect a statue of Hillary in the Washington, D.C. Hall of Fame. We were in a quandary as to where the statue should be placed…

What fruit did Hillary grind up in her juicer? 13 blackberries and 5 apples

If you think Hillary is going to drop out of the presidential race, you should know Hillary doesn't go down... That's why Bill had Monica.

Doctors have determined Hillary doesn't have pneumonia Apparently a little girl from Kansas just threw some water on her.

Yo, Hillary, I'm really happy for you, and I'ma let you finish... ...but the World Trade Centre had one of the best collapses of all time! One of the best collapses of all time!

Massive fall on Wall St today... Nope, wait, just Hillary fainting.

Hillary is a great female candidate. She really puts the ""Emale"" in ""Female"".