Blonde Jokes

A blonde gets a job as a locomotive engineer... On the first train ride she engineers, things seem to be going smoothly. All of a sudden, the passengers feel an incredibly abrupt jerk as the train swerves off the rails, onto some grass, threatens to flip over to its side, chaotic bumpiness... but then corrects itself back onto the tracks. Who is to blame? Our beloved blonde, of course. Back at the station, the blonde's manager walks up to her and lets her have it... ""What do you think you were …

What's hitler's favorite yu-gi-oh card? Blue eyes blond dragon.

So this blonde gets pulled over for speeding... by a blonde police officer. The officer asks the driver for her license. The blonde fumbles around until she finds her compact and opens it up. She sees her reflection and says ""here is my license officer"". The blonde police officer takes one look at it and says ""If I would have known you were an officer I never would have pulled you over""

What do you call a smart blonde? A labrador

2 men and a blonde are arrested by the secret police for treason During the interrogation, the interrogator brings them into a room and hooks each of them to a lie detecting machine, claiming that they would be vaporised if they told a lie. He then turns to the first man and asks a question. ""Why did you perform such an act? ""I was only thinking about what was best for the country."" The lie detector remains silent and the interrogator proceeds to ask the next man another question. ""Do you ha…

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, ""I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. "" Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitate…

A BLONDE'S BRAIN Q: What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? A: Pregnant.

logician joke (hard to get) 3 logicians walk into a bar. The blonde bartender smiles and says with a mock sigh, 'Hmmm.. Logicians again. I think you're all cute, but you're not ALL going to try to pick me up, are you?' The first logician says: 'I don't know - maybe?' and looks at the other two. The second logician says, 'I don't know - maybe?' and looks at the third one. The third logician says, 'Well, looks like we are!' and orders four beers.""

Pair of Twins I've been shagging a pair of twins recently, and my friend asked me ""How do you tell the difference?"". I told him ""It's easy! Julie has long blonde hair..."" ""..and Derek has a moustache""

Why did the blond not come out of the shower? Because the bottle said to lather, rinse, and repeat.

Blonde guy's football tryout The coach is holding open tryouts for the football team when this tall handsome blond kid walks up to him. ""I want to tryout for quarterback!"" The blonde says to the coach. ""You have any experience playing quarterback?"" The coach asks. ""No sir"", is the blonde 's reply. The coach rolls his eyes, but he is a big athletic looking guy. The coach reaches down and picks up a football. ""Son, do you think you could pass this football?"" He asks him The blondes eyes ge…

A blond and a brunette jump off a building... The brunette wakes up in heaven but the blonde is no where in sight. About an hour later the blonde finally shows up. ""What took you so long?"" the brunette asks. The blonde simply replied ""oh, I had to stop and ask for directions."" This joke may be several decades late...

Two blondes standing either side of a river, the first blonde shouts to the other ""How do you get to the other side?"" the other replies ""You're on the other side, stupid!""

A blond and a brunette jump off the empire state building... Who lands first? The brunette. The blond had to stop and ask for directions.

An old blind man walks into a bar... He sits down and begins to speak: ""How many Blondes does it take-"" A burly blonde woman nearby interrupts him ""Excuse me! I'll have you know that I'm a blonde wrestler and I'm sitting here with a weightlifter, a black belt and a professional boxer who are also blonde. Are you sure you want to finish that joke?"" The old man paused for a moment. ""I better not."" The women relaxed. ""I don't want to have to repeat it 3 times over""

guy driving in a car with a blonde. A guy was driving in a car with a blonde. He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked. She stuck her head out and said, ""Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes...""

A blonde was walking by a field... And saw another blonde in a rowboat paddling away at the dirt and stirring up a ton of dust. The blonde walking called out, ""Hey! What are you doing?!"" The other blonde replied, ""I'm trying to get over to the barn! Could you help me?"" The blonde walking retorted, ""Well, I would but I can't swim.""

A blonde walks into a restaurant to get some dinner, and while she's deciding on what she wants a waitress comes up. The blonde looks up and notices the waitress's name tag on her shirt. ''Gee, that's nice. What did you name the other one?''

BLONDE BICYCLE Q: Why did the blonde run with the bike? A: It was going too fast for her to get on.

Blonde with a twist Q: What do you get when you combine a blonde woman with a physicist? A: Marie Curie

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, ""I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."" The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats ""I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first …

A funny thing happed at the cloning lab A blonde geneticist was working on human cloning in her lab and had created a cloning machine. Finally she was ready and decided that her first clone would be of herself. She collected a sample of her DNA and made and exact clone. The clone was exact in every detail, except the hair color. Somehow she had created a brunette clone, so she discarded it. After several more attempts, each with the same result, she was extremely dismayed. She sedated the clone …

A Blonde Woman Asks For A $6000 Loan And the bartender says, ""Look, lady. Do you want something to drink or not?""

An old blind cowboy... An old blind cowboy accidentally walks into an all female biker bar. He takes a seat at the bar, and blurts out, ""Who here wants to hear a dumb-blonde joke?"" The whole bar goes quiet for a moment, then the biker next to him says, ""Before you tell that joke, cowboy, there's three things you ought to know. 1. The bouncer is blonde, is 6'5"" and has a billy club. 2. The bartender is blonde too, and she has a baseball bat. And 3. I'm a blonde, professional weight lifter and…

[Joke Request] An actress, a lesbian, and a blonde walk into a bar... Request for a a joke with that beginning. Any help is appreciated! Please and thank you! :)