Derek Jokes

New Neighbor: Hi, I'm Derek; I moved in downstairs. Me: I'm Spencer; I'll be looking in your window and judging your decorating choices.

We're gathered here today to mourn the loss of Derek. His last words were "Watch me try and keep my eyes open while sneezing!"

Pair of Twins I've been shagging a pair of twins recently, and my friend asked me ""How do you tell the difference?"". I told him ""It's easy! Julie has long blonde hair..."" ""..and Derek has a moustache""

Office Jokes At the office during lunch, Susan from sales stands up and yells, ""53!"". All her other coworkers in the canteen laugh hysterically. A moment later Bob from accounting stands up and says, ""41!"". All in the canteen laugh even more loudly. A new hire in the canteen asks his coworker to his left, Joe from marketing, what was going on. Joe's answer: ""We have hundreds of jokes circulating throughout the office, and each one is assigned a different number. Most of the jokes are very l…

Very Punny! Eric is just Derek without a D

So there's a new drink at the bar... A man named Derek walks into a bar and takes a seat next to another man. The man looks over and says ""Hey

What's got two legs and bleeds?,"half a dog [Derek s01e05]

What's got two legs and bleeds? half a dog [Derek, s01e05]

Two gay men – Derek and Nigel – went to a fairground. Derek said he wanted to go on the Ferris wheel but Nigel said he had a sore butt so he declined. The wheel went round and round, but then suddenly the cart Derek was sitting in crashed to the ground, landing near Nigel's feet. "Are you hurt?" asked Nigel, rushing over to his friend. "Of course I am," snapped Derek. "Three times I went round and you didn't wave once!"

Emily caught her husband Derek searching high and low all around his living room. Emily : “What are you searching for?” Derek : “Hidden camera!” Emily : “And what makes you think that there are hidden camera here?” Derek: “That guy on tv knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?”