Blonde Jokes

How do you know when a blond is having a bad day? Because a tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Why do blondes have one more brain cell than cows?... So when you pull on a blonde's tit, she doesn't s**t on the floor.

A suicide bomber, a member of an ethnic minority, my girlfriend, a priest, and a blonde walk into a bar. The bartender says ""What is this, /r/Jokes?""

3 people are being chased by the cops. 1 is a brunette, 1 is a redhead and 1 is a dumb blonde. They go and hide in a building. Inside there is a sack of dogs, a sack of cats, and a sack of potatoes. The brunette hides in the sack of dogs. The redhead hides in the sack of cats. The dumb blonde hides in the sack of potatoes. When the cops catch up they go to the sack of cats and ask,""is anyone in there?"" and the redhead says, ""meow!"". The cops then proceed to the sack of dogs and they ask,"" i…

Blond This blonde girl went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Her mum responded, ""Amanda, they just wanted to see your panties!"" Amanda replied, ""See Mum, I was smart, I took them off!""

I was visiting my blonde friend, who just adopted two new dogs... I asked her what their names were. She responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. I asked why she would ever name her dogs that. She answered ""I needed some watch dogs""

I was trying to help my blonde neighbour park her trailered boat in her driveway. Go ahead, back up, I kept saying...it took over 2 hours.

What is Easter? A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all die simultaneously and are instantly before St. Peter and heaven's gate. ""In order to be allowed in, you must tell me, what is Easter?"" exclaims St. Pete. The brunette answers first. ""Easter is when we celebrate the birth of Jesus!"" St. Peter says no and sends her to hell. The redhead then answers, ""Easter is when we celebrate love and buy each other gifts, chocolate, and flowers!"" Again, St. Pete says no and sends her to hell. Finall…

Blonde, brunette, and a redhead. (I told this joke outloud to the whole class when I was in 2nd grade and got sent to the office) A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are all running from the cops and end up getting cornered. The brunette points behind the cops and screams ""tornado!"" The cops all turn around and she runs away. The redhead points the same direction and screams ""volcano eruption!"" Once again, the cops turn around and the redhead runs away. Only the blonde is left and she screams …

A dog, a blonde, a rabbi, a priest, a nun, Helen Keller, a black guy, and a horse walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""what's this, some kind of joke?""

A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are stranded on an island. One day the blond comes running up to the others screaming that she found a magic lamp. The others bored out of their minds decides to follow. They finally show up to the spot and they see a really old lamp. The brunette picks it up and wipes some dust off of it. A genie pops out and says ""You three who have disturbed my slumber, I will give you each one wish, so that I may sleep for a hundred more years."" The brunette, holding the l…

So there's a blonde, Burnett, and a red head. So there is a blonde, brunett, and a red head all girls they all escaped jail. As they are running they see this abandoned truck of potatoes so the Brunett says let's get in these sacks and miss the cops. They hop in them and the cops go driving by and the partner of the cop says let's check out that abandon truck right there as they are checking the bags they kick the one with the red head and she goes woof and they ignore it and think there are jus…

A priest, a nun, a rabbi, a blonde, a brunette, a redhead, a farmer, his daughter, a horse, a black guy, a white guy, and an asian guy all walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What is this? A joke?""

A blonde asks her brunette friend... ... ""Didn't you get an HIV test last week?"" ""Yeah, it came back negative"" answered the brunette The blonde responds ""Maybe you should study next time""

A blonde walks in to a store She says to the owner, ""I'd like to buy that TV please."" The owner says, ""Sorry, no blondes allowed."" The next day the blonde goes back with a brown wig on and says to the owner, ""I'd like to buy that TV please."" And the owner says, ""Sorry, no blondes allowed."" The next day the blonde goes back with a black wig on and says to the owner, ""I'd like to buy that TV please."" And the owner says, ""Sorry, no blondes allowed."" ""How do you know I'm a blonde?"" The…

A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him and says, ""Hey, wanna hear a blond joke?"" The man said to the blind man, ""Look buddy, I'm blond. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler, and he's blond. The bouncer is blond. The man sitting over to your left is also blond. Still wanna tell that blond joke?"" The blind man was silent for a moment and then said, ""Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times.""

What is it called when one blonde blows in another blonde's ear? Data transfer

So this blonde, rabbi, and priest walk in to a bar... ...and the bartender says, ""what is this, some kind of joke?""

Blond joke! :D What do you call a dead blond in the closet? - last year's hide & seek! :D

Safety in Snowplows A blond gets into her car while an incredibly powerful winter storm surrounds her. She starts the car and puts it in drive when suddenly her anxiety sets in. The horrible weather begins to worry her; she fears that she won't ever get home in it. It's at this time (and through a stroke of luck) she notices a snowplow in the distance up ahead. After a huge sigh of relief she keeps pace with the plow feeling it's safety as it clears the snow in front of her. Multiple hours pass …

So a blonde was trying to sell her car.. Unfortunately, her car had over 200,000 miles on it and she wasn't able to get very good deals for it. After mentioning her issue to one of her co-workers, he says that he can reset the mileage so she can get a really good deal for selling it. She agrees to and he does his business, gives it back to her, and they go back to their daily lives. After a month or so, the co-worker sees the blonde still riding in the same car and asks her, ""what happened? Wer…

My friend from Turkey had never heard a blonde joke. This was his attempt at telling one. A blonde walks into a bar and sits down next to an Englishman, Irishman, and German. They turn to her and say, ""Are you new here?""

Blonde Joke There's this blonde. She gets on a plane and sits in the first available seat. The flight attendant is coming around checking tickets. She looks at the blonde woman's ticket and tells the blonde; ""ma'am you can't sit here, your ticket says coach and this is first class. please move to the back of the plane"" The blonde replies ""I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job. I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica"" So the flight attendant, now hot under the collar at the bl…

So how do you confuse a blonde Redditor? [Answer](http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2pi5rn/so_how_do_you_confuse_a_blonde_redditor/)

So I was talking to my blond friend I was telling her that I was named after a character from a tv show. She replied: ""What was their name?"".