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Jamaica Jokes

Jokes

A Blonde boards a airplane... A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, ""I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."" The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats ""I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good

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Four mid-life friends meet up once a year. This year they decide to meet in the bar that was once their local for an evening of drinking and catching up. Jack heads to the bar to get the first round in. Steve A starts the conversation. ""So hows the family guys? My son is doing quite well, airline pilot! The other day he took his new squeeze to Jamaica, his third holiday in 3 months.."" Steve B leans in and scoffs at the idea. ""My lad is in banking. Just bought his other half a yacht. Planning

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Traveler's complaint A man is enjoying a holiday in Jamaica, but suddenly develops terrible constipation! He gets directions to a local clinic from the front desk, and makes a rush appointment to see the doctor: ""I've got this terrible constipation; could you administer an enema for me?"" ""Hoho! We don't use enemas here!"" the doc' says with a big smile, and steps over to a potted palm. ""Just chew an inch of this"" and he snaps off a leaf ""every hour and check with me tomorrow."" Dubious,

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The red banana There was a man who was a train engineer, but also drove the train, and has been doing this for around twenty years now. Eventually, the man was bored working on the train one day and rigged it to go faster than normal, and on a curve he needed to slow down for, he sped up, crashing into a building and killing everyone on board except for himself. He was taken to court, and was found guilty, and sentenced to death. He requested his last meal to be a red banana, only to be found in

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A girl goes on holidays in Jamaica She met a nice local and they start dating. After a couple of days she tells him: - I am sorry but you never told me your name. - I can't, you'll find it ridiculous, I don't want you to laugh at me... - Oh please, please, I promise. I won't laugh at you. - Ok, my name is Snow. The girl looks at him with a poker face but then start to laugh, and laugh. - You promised you won't find it ridiculous, he says. - I don't. It's just, I just imagined the face of my frie

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Woman Admits To Sleeping With Husband's Brother and Husband replies Dear Husband: I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new ne

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A man loves his wife so much That he decides to get her name tattooed on his shaft. When they arrived in the Caribbean for their honeymoon to Jamaica he goes to the Tattoo Parlor and tells the artist he wants the name ""Wendy"" tattooed on to his magic stick. The deed is done and feeling well enough to go out for dinner they decided to head out. After a while the man needed to use the restroom. So he went to the rest room and began to urinate into the first of two open urinals. When another man

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Jet engine is down... A man is sitting with his wife on a plane flight to Jamaica. About halfway through the flight, over the middle of the ocean, the plane suffers a jolt and the flight attendant comes on the loudspeaker a few moments later. ""Our apologies for the disturbance, but a bird has flown into our back left engine and destroyed it. We still have three working engines, but our flight will be delayed by about an hour, due to decreased speed. Again, we're sorry for the inconvenience."" T

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A Jamaican man's wife dies in Jerusalem A Jamaican man and his nagging wife were on holiday in Jerusalem, when the wife suddenly died. The funeral company told the man that it could cost $500, 000 to ship her home to Jamaica or $500 to bury her in Jerusalem. The husband said, ""ship her home"" shocked, the undertaker asked, but sir why don't you bury her in holy land and save the money? To which the husband replied. A long time ago a man was buried here and 3 days later, he rose from the dead...

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A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, ""I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."" The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats ""I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first

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Blonde Joke There's this blonde. She gets on a plane and sits in the first available seat. The flight attendant is coming around checking tickets. She looks at the blonde woman's ticket and tells the blonde; ""ma'am you can't sit here, your ticket says coach and this is first class. please move to the back of the plane"" The blonde replies ""I'm a blonde, I'm smart and have a good job. I'm not moving until the plane arrives in Jamaica"" So the flight attendant, now hot under the collar at the bl

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The Arab's Daughter Two Arab oil sheiks met at a hookah bar. The first one, looking for a suitor for his youngest son inquired ""Hassan Abdullah, how's your youngest daughter? She's almost thirteen now, mind if I ask for her hand for my youngest son?"" The second Arab sheik puffed out and replied ""I'm afraid she's married now, Hussein Achmed! She's in the Caribbeans for her honeymoon"". ""Jamaica?"" the first Arab sheik asked. ""Of course"" the second sheik replied ""she wanted to be free and m

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