Blonde Jokes

How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a swimming pool.

BLONDE BRAIN Q: How do you make a blonde's brain the size of a pea? A: Inflate it.

BLIND, BLOND & BALLSY A blind man walks into a bar, taps the man next him and says, ""Hey, wanna hear a blond joke?"" The man said to the blind man, ""Look buddy, I'm blond. The man behind me is a 400-pound professional wrestler, and he's blond. The bouncer is blond. The man sitting over to your left is also blond. Still wanna tell that blond joke?"" The blind man was silent for a moment and then said, ""Nah, I wouldn't want to have to explain it five times.""

Two lawyers are sitting in a bar... ... When a hot blonde walks in. The one lawyer says, ""Man, wouldn't you like to screw that?"" and the other lawyer replies, ""Outta what?""

Two blonde genies. A man walks along the beach when he kicks and discovers a lamp. He takes it home to clean it and as he does two blonde genies pop out and announce that he has three wishes. The next morning the man wakes up in bed and as he stretches and yawns he looks around and sees that the room is littered with beautiful women. Feeling confused he gets up to go to the toilet and notices that the ground he is walking on is incredibly soft. As he looks down he realises that he is walking on …

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the cops... They run down an alley and find 3 boxes and decided to hide in each. The cops arrive to the first box, they kick the first and the brunette shouts '' Woof Woof!! '' The cops decided it must be dogs and move onto the next box. '' Meow Meow! '' The redhead exclaims, the cops shrug thinking it is cats and move on to the next box. '' POTATOES '' yells the blonde.

3 construction workers eat their lunch on top of a building. The first is a brunette, the second is a red head, and the third is a blonde. Every day on their lunch break they eat on top of the 10-story building they've been working on and every day they have the same thing for lunch. Finally the men have had enough, the brunette says if my wife doesn't change up my lunch I'm jumping off this building. The redhead says the same thing and so does the blonde. The next day they all have the same lun…

Blond Joke Two blonds are out hunting in the snow and they come across some tracks. One bland says, Oh look, deer tracks, lets follow and shoot the deer. The other blond says, Those are not deer tracks, those are turkey tracks, lets follow them and shoot a turkey. Well the blonds get into a tremendous argument when suddenly they are both run over by a train.

TGIF A business man got on an elevator in a building. When he entered the elevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by saying, ""T-G-I-F"" (letters only). He smiled at her and replied, ""S-H-I-T"" (letters only)."" She looked at him, puzzled, and said, ""T-G-I-F"" again. He acknowledged her remark again by answering, ""S-H-I-T."" The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly ""T-G-I-F"" another time. The man smiled back…

There is a magical mirror that instantly kills anyone who tells a lie in front of it. A Brunette, an Asian, and a Blonde all go to the mirror. The Brunette says: ""I think I am the prettiest person in the world!"" She dies. The Asian says: ""I think I am the smartest person in the world!"" She dies. The Blonde says: ""I think--"" She dies.

A brunette, a redhead and a blonde... were lining up to check-in to a hotel. Clerk: Maam, will you be staying for 3 days? Brunette: I'm afraid not. Clerk: Maam, will you be staying for 3 days? Redhead: I'm afraid so. Clerk: Maam, will you be staying for 3 days? Blonde: I AM NOT AFRAID!

A blonde and a brunette are in a room... The blonde ask: ""What does idk stand for?"" Brunette: ""I don't know."" Blonde: ""OMG, no one does!""

A Blonde A Redhead and A Brunette. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, ""Awwww, I wish my friends were here.""

Downhill Skiing 3 rock climbers (Bob, Tim, Jack) were attempting to climb Everest. In a freak accident, Bob and Tim lost all of their supplies. Unable to progress any further, they decide to make camp and share jack's supplies. The three of them slept side to side, with bob and Tim on either side of jack. In the morning, as they made their way down the mountain, bob was telling the other two about his dream last night. Bob said, ""man I dreamt this buxom blonde gave me a vigorous hand job last n…

Watching Avatar again Didn't notice the first time how odd it was that all the Na'vi were portrayed as so pale-skinned and blonde...

A red head, blonde and a brunette A red head. a brunette and a blonde are sitting at the bottom of the stairs when they are approached by a genie. The genie says ""I am prepared to give you anything you want;anything."" The girls agree and ask what is the catch. The genie replies ""You just need to climb those twenty five stairs you were sitting on. I will tell you a joke on each step. You just need to make it to the top without laughing."" With this in mind all the girls take the challenge. The…

Comedy club challenge A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter a comedy club challenge where they have to not laugh at the comedians best jokes. With a prize of 10,000 they set off with their best poker faces. The first comedian enters the stage and tries his joke with a funny accent and the brunette laughs and gets disqualified. Just the blonde and the redhead left now. When the second comedian tells his joke and the redhead is trying her best to hold back a laugh and but ends up letting it ou…

A brunette, a readhead and a blonde come across a wide river they need to pass... Not being any bridge, they have to get past it by swimming. First goes the brunette, she swims a quarter of the river, she gets tired and drowns. Second is the readhead, she swims halfway the river, she gets tired and drowns. And lastly goes the blonde. She swims three quarters of the river, gets tired and swims back at the shore where she started so she won't drown. Poorly translated from romanian

A blonde walks into the doctors and explains that she is unable to drink coffee without getting a severe pain in her eye. The doctor replies; ""Maybe take the spoon out before you try drinking it""

A blonde was having a conversation with an elephant, a pufferfish, and a fox... The blonde said to the elephant, ""If the pufferfish was a human he would be a Muslim, because he just loves to blow himself up."" The elephant broke out laughing but the blonde cut him off and said to the pufferfish, ""I don't know why he's laughing, if he was a human he would be a Jew, and I think he nose why."" The pufferfish was now laughing uncontrollably, and the fox who was also with them realising he would be…

Blonde, Brunette, And Redhead stuck on an island As they are stuck on the island, one of the girls notices that, in the distance, there is some continental land. The Redhead decides to swim, saying she could make it. She swims for about an hour before succumbing to exhaustion and drowning at five miles. The Brunette waits, think she sees a boat, and decides to swim out to meet it. About four or five hours into her swim, she realizes that there is no boat, gives up, and drowns at about thirteen m…

Q: Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan? A: Because every time they stopped the clock, she thought that she had stopped aging.

my new password During a recent at a University password audit, it was found that a Blonde student was using the following password: ""MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyTallahassee"" When asked why she had such a long password, she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one Capital.

blonde joke Why are there so many dumb blonde jokes? it gives brunnettes and redheads something to do on friday and saturday nights!

Three blondes are lost after a shipwreck... After the shipwreck, they wake up at a deserted island. They don't know what to do, tired and hungry, when one of them find a shining object lying on the beach. It is a golden lamp. After a couple of hours, one of the blondes has the idea to rub the lamp. Surprisingly, a genie appears. ""You have three wishes"", he says to the blondes. After noticing that they are blondes, he completes ""That is one wish for each"". The first blonde says ""I wish a was…