Blonde Jokes

Blonde goes to the salon. A blonde walked into a salon wearing huge headphones. When it was her turn to get her haircut, the hairdresser requested for her to remove her headphones. The blonde said it was very important for her to keep them on. The hairdresser complied and started cutting her hair. After a while she was having difficulties cutting her hair around and under the headphones, so she just decided to pull them off. The blond suddenly turned red, choked and fell to the floor The hairdre…

After a really good party a man walks into a bar and orders a drink. Already drunk and delirious, the man turns to the person sitting next to him and says, You wanna hear a blonde joke? The person replies, I am 240 pounds, world kickboxing champion and a natural blonde. My friend is 190 pounds, world judo champion and is a natural blonde. And my other friend is 200 pounds, world arm wrestling champion and is also a natural blonde. Do you still want to tell me that blonde joke? The man thinks for…

Jigsaw puzzle time record ""Honey, I made the record for solving a jigsaw puzzle"" said a blonde woman to her husband ""Really? How long did it take you?"" Responded the husband ""I finished in 6 months"" ""That can't be a record, can it?"" ""Well it said in the box, from 3 to 6 years""

Blond joke A blonde goes to her car in the parking and to her shock there is a dent on the flank. A guy passing by seeing she is blonde tells her: ""you need to go on your knees on blow in the exhaust pipe as hard as you can. Then just like a plastic bottle it will go back to normal."" The blonde is very thankfull and starts blowing. A few minutes pass and another blonde comes by and yells at her "" oh my god I can't believe you what are you doing"" The first one explains the situation to which …

A man driving down Route 66 stops by a gas station for the restroom... Upon entering the store he sees the hot blonde behind the counter and asks her to use the restroom. She gives him the key and the man rushes to take care of business. After finishing he notices there's no toilet paper around and nothing else to wipe with. Then he spots a sign on the wall that reads ""Use your fingers to wipe yourself then put them in the hole in the wall to have them licked clean."". He sees some light come o…

The Cure for Dandruff One afternoon a blonde and a brunette are sitting having lunch, chatting away about this and that. The blonde then says, ""My husband's dandruff is so terrible! I don't know what to do!"". ""Oh, my husband had the same issue."" the brunette responded. ""I gave him Head and Shoulders, and after a week, the dandruff was gone."" and they continued on with lunch. A week later the brunette runs into her blonde friend and asks how her husband's dandruff is coming along. The blond…

Why did the blonde give up on trying to blow up a car? She burnt her lips on the exhaust pipe

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the desert. A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter a desert. They are each allowed to bring one item with them on their journey. Knowing that the desert is very hot and dry, the brunette bring a large jug of water. The redhead, seeing that the brunette had lots of water, brought a large cooler. The blonde, however, inexplicably brings a car door. Once they are inside the desert, they attempt to work out what they have brought. The brunette says, I bro…

One day, a blonde and a brunette are sitting together for lunch. The brunette sets a thermos on the table, and the blonde asks what it is. 'It's a thermos,' says the brunette. 'It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.' The blonde stares in awe as the brunette pours steaming hot coffee out to show her. The next day, the blonde is showing off her 'new' thermos to another blonde. 'See this?' she asks. 'What is it?' the other blonde asks. 'It's a thermos, and it keeps hot things hot, and cold t…

Blonde's sleeping pill An exhausted looking blonde dragged himself in to the doctor's office. ""Doctor, there are dogs all over my neighborhood. They bark all day and all night, and I can't get a wink of sleep."" ""I have good news for you,"" the doctor answered, rummaging through a drawer full of sample medications. ""Here are some new sleeping pills that work like a dream. A few of these and your trouble will be over."" ""Great,"" the blonde answered, ""I'll try anything. Let's give it a shot.…

A blonde went to buy 2 bananas The seller told her that he didn't have change and asked if she wanted one more, the blonde responded ""Okay, i will eat one"".

Why did the blond take a ruler to bed? To see how long she slept.

A blonde a brunette and Ellen Pao walk into a bar... This content has been censored by Ellen Pao because it was harassing her personal interests

In Michigan As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says ""Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."" The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the…

A Blonde Orders a Cake For her son's surprise birthday, a blonde calls the local bakery to order a cake. Baker: Hello there. Blonde: Hi, I'd like to order a Chocolate Cake for my son's birthday! Baker: Sure, what would you like the cake to say? The blonde, covers the phone to ask her husband. ""Honey, do we want a talking cake?""

BLONDE ON BLONDE Q: What do you call a bunch of blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel.

A blond, red head, brown haird girl and green haird girl all walk into a salon... The blond asks the red head, ""Is that your natural color?"". The red head pours juice on it and replys, ""No. I dye it with cool-aid"". The red head asks the brown haird girl, ""is that your natural color?"". The brown haird girl pulls out some dirt and replys, ""No. I rub it with dirt every day."" The red head asks the green haird girl, ""Is that your natural color?"". The green haird girl picks her nose then run…

A blond, a redhead, and a brunette are at school one day eating lunch The blond says to her friends, ""If I have another turkey sandwich for lunch, I'm going to kill myself!"" The redhead, knowing how she feels says, ""if I get a ham sandwich for lunch one more time, then I'm going to kill myself!"" The brunette chimes in and says, ""you know, if I get another stupid tuna sandwich for lunch one more time, I'm definitely going to kill myself!"" And with that they ate their lunch and continued the…

A blond goes to the doctor Blonde: Doctor my skin is very smooth and fair, what should I do before going to sleep? Doctor: Lock the door

A blonde, brunette, and ginger are walking through the desert... The brunette was carrying a bucket of fried chicken, the ginger was carrying bottles of water, and the blonde, a car door. They eventually come to an old man's house. The old asks the brunette ,""Where are you going with that fried chicken?"" She replies, ""If I get hungry, I can eat."" He asks the ginger, ""And what about you?"" She says, ""If I'm thirsty, I can drink it."" The old man turns to the blonde and asks, ""And why are y…

Went to watch a blonde comedian And all she kept doing was bending down and looking at the floor. I guess she was just looking for some laughs.

Two blondes from the city So two blondes live together in the city and have been itching for a new life. They seek a rural and country lifestyle and want to own a farm. The first blonde pitches to the other the idea of starting a real farm, with a bull as their first animal, for which to plow the fields they're sure to own. The second blonde enjoys the idea, but mentions she can't leave also to go in search for a bull for financial reasons, having to save up money to be able to purchase the farm…

Blonde woman's cheating husband A woman suspects her husband is cheating, and after a few weeks, she decides to purchase a gun and try to catch him in the act. One day, she comes home unannounced and actually catches him in bed with a brunette woman. The blonde immediately pulls out her gun, shoots the brunette, and turns the gun on herself. ""Don't do it!"" The husband cries out. ""We can figure this out."" ""Shut up, you're next!""

Was talking to a blond once... Me: Did you know it says gullible on the ceiling. She begins looking all over the ceiling. Her: Where? Me: Do you know what gullible means? Her: It means you fall for tricks easily, but it's not on the ceiling! Edit fixed

How many dead babies does it take to confuse a blond woman? to get to the other side....