Blonde Jokes

A blond goes to bed with a glass of water and an empty one. The latter is in case she wakes up not feeling thirsty.

And now a mediocre blonde joke: what do you call a blonde who dyes her hair Artificial intelligence

The Blonde and the Earbuds A blonde regularly sits in the office with a pair of earbuds in. Because of this, she regularly doesn't hear her boss. One day, the boss calls out to her, and for the umpteenth time the blonde doesn't hear him. Fed up, the boss stomps over to her desk, rips off her earphones and begins to yell at her.   Soon, the blonde topples onto the desk and lays still.   The boss prods her. She's dead! He glances at the earphones still held in his hand. Obviously…

A blonde woman is walking down the street, with her blouse open....... A cop is approaching from about a block away, thinking, ""Boy, my eyes must be going, it looks like that woman's right breast is hanging out."" As he gets closer it becomes apparent that her breast is hanging out. When he gets face to face with her he says, ""Ma'am, are you aware I could cite you for indecent exposure?"" She says, ""Why, officer?"" ""Well, your breast is hanging out."" She looks down and says ""OH MY GOD, I l…

A blonde joins a Mexican cartel The cartel sends her to Colombia to get coke and she brings Pepsi.

How can you tell when the blonde's boyfriend's birthday is? when she has a belt-buckle imprint on her forehead

Blonde buys a TV A blonde went to the appliance store sale and found a bargain. ""I would like to buy this TV,"" she told the salesman. ""Sorry, we don't sell to blondes,"" he replied. She hurried home and dyed her hair, then came back and again told the salesman, ""I would like to buy this TV."" ""Sorry, we don't sell to blondes,"" he replied. ""Darn, he recognized me,"" she thought. She went for a complete disguise this time; haircut and new colour, new outfit, big sunglasses, then waited a fe…

How does a blond, get revenge on her blond boyfriend? She paints a target icon around the outlet.

Blondes...not always dumb. A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, ""I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. "" Again, she declines and tries to get some sle…

This one works best if you tell it to a blonde. Hey Donna, how do you make a blond laugh her butt off twice in a row? Donna: I dunno, how? Tell her the same dumb joke twice in a row. . . Hey Donna, how do you make a blond laugh her butt off twice in a row? Duck, dodge, or RUN FAST cause she will try to kill you!

A brunette tells her blonde friend that she can finally say that she's slept with a Brazilian. The blonde looks shocked and says, ""OMG, how many is a Brazilian???

Santa Claus and a blonde... One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She said ""Santa, will you stay with me?"", Santa replied, ""Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."" So she took off her night gown, wearing only a bra and panties, she asked ""Santa, now will you stay with me?"" ""Ho Ho Ho gotta go, gotta go, gotta deliver these toys to good girls and boys."" She takes off everything and say…

Santa Hates Blonds Why did the blond slap Santa? He kept saying ""Ho Ho Ho"" *dum roll - rim slap*

What happens when a blonde wins a gold medal at the Olympics? She has it bronzed.

A ginger, A brunette and a blond on an island 3 women are on an island which is 100 meters away from the mainland. One woman is ginger, one woman is brunette and one woman is blond. They decide to take it in turns to swim back to the mainland. The ginger goes first and as she is a bad swimmer she gets 20meters from the island and thinks she can't make it so she turns back. The brunette goes second and like the ginger she turns back after 40meters because she thinks she won't be able to doit. The…

Blonde & Brunette go to a movie they're watching the movie and there's a part of the movie where it looks like the guy is going to jump off a cliff and die. The blone turns to the brunette and says ""I bet you $100 he doesnt jump"" the brunette agrees. Sure enough, the guy jumps and dies. As they're leaving the movie, the brunette says the the blonde ""I cant take your money, I have to admit, I've seen this movie before so I knew he'd jump"" The blond replies ""Well, so did I, and I didnt th…

A brunette, red head, and blonde are taken hostage on a tropical island... ""Any last words?"" They ask the brunette while pointing a gun in her direction. ""TORNADO!"", she yelled. They turn around and look for a tornado, the brunette escapes while they look away. They pointed the gun towards the red head next and asked her, ""any last words?"" ""VOLCANO!"" They look away and the red head runs away. The captors now pointed the gun at the blonde and asked her, ""any last words?"" Now the blonde …

A blonde is working as a chef at a restaurant Her food is good, and the restaurant enjoys success for some time. One day, the restaurant unveils a new dish containing meatballs and chili sauce. But unfortunately the customers don't like the dish, complaining that the sauce is too cold. The manager, unaccustomed to poor cooking from the blonde chef, goes to her and says, ""What's wrong? You're a good chef, but of all things you can't make hot chili sauce?"" Stressed out, the blonde exclaims ""how…

3 blondes on a hike found some tracks in the woods... Blonde girl one said ""These are wolf tracks."" Blonde girl two rolled her eyes and said ""No Lori, you're such an idiot, these are deer tracks."" Blonde girl three piped up and said ""You are both wrong, these are obviously horse tracks."" They stood there arguing over the tracks for about 15 minutes. During the heated debate, they were hit by a train. I'm sure you guys have heard this before, but just in case I figured I'd post it.

One day, a blonde got her driving license She talks to her guy: ""You know, I have passed driving exams. Now I'll be choosing a machine to buy. Maybe you could advise which machine would be the best?"" By which he replied,""Washing one.""

A Blonde Visits a Doctor One day, a blonde goes to a doctor. She told the doctor, ""Doctor, my son has dandruff, what do I do?"" The doctor replied, ""Give him Head and Shoulders."" So the next day, the blonde comes back and asks, ""Doctor, how do I give him shoulders?""

I've git nothing against blonds. My girlfriend us blond. I heard this joke from my friend, and it's not that bad. There were 25 blonds, and 5 brunettes on a plane. After they got up higher, the pilot got on the loud speaker, and said that they needed to drop the floor, because they were going down. He told everyone to grab onto the handle bars above. When everyone did, the pilot dropped the floor. After a few minutes, he said that they were still going down, and needed some people to drop themse…

A trucker is driving and comes to a red light.. As he stops, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says ""Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."" The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've nev…

I need feminism.. ..because I've never heard a 'dumb blond' joke about a man!

A young woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut up...you're next!''