Blonde Jokes

BLONDE DRIVER Q: Why did the blonde take a right into the ditch? A: Her blinker was on.

A blonde walks into a library... ba dum tss thank you, thank you

A BLONDE'S SPECIAL PICTURE Q: Why did the blonde keep a picture of herself in her room? A: So she could use it as a mirror.

BLONDE ALE Q: What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up.

The blind man and the blondes (An old one...) A blind man walks into a bar and orders a drink. When he gets it he calls out, ""Who wants to hear the funniest dumb blonde joke in the world?"" A voice down the bar calls back, ""Listen sir, before you say any more, I can see you are blind, so I'm just gonna warn you that the bartender is a blonde and 200lbs. The person to your left is a blonde and a construction worker. The couple behind you are blondes and professional MMA fighters and I'm a blond…

Technically When is a computer like a blonde? When it goes down on you as soon as you turn it on.

What's the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito stops sucking after you slap it. (heard this somewhere)

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head escaped prison. Three women managed to escape from prison. They were being chased down by the police. As they were running for their lives they came across an old barn. The women all agreed to hide in the barn so they decided to hide in burlap sacks that were laying on the ground inside the barn. Few minutes went by and a police officer went inside the barn to see if they were hiding in there. The police officers saw the three lumpy burlap sacks on the ground…

A blonde, brunette, and redhead get together for lunch in NYC. Three long-time friends, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get together over lunch at a New York City deli. Since they haven't seen each other for a while, the brunette says to the redhead ""So you went to Alaska last month, right? What did you while you were there?"" The redhead replies ""Iditarod"". Surprised, the blonde looks up from her menu, and says ""Why'd you go all the way to Alaska just for that? Yankee stadium is right o…

Two blondes were driving in a car They observed another blonde rowing a boat out in the middle of a grassy field. They first blonde turned to the second and said ""it's blondes like that that give us a bad name"". ""Yeah"" said the second blonde, ""and if I could swim, I'd go out there and drown her""

A Brunette confessed something to her blonde friend The Brunette said ""I feel bad.... I slept with a guy. Ughh well, to be honest, it wasn't Just a guy, it was a Brazilian."". Then the Blonde said ""you slut! How many is a Brazilian?""

Ok so there's this brunette who is determined to vanquish the stereotype that all blonds are dumb so she invites one million blond people to her event and manages to get her event televised all over the world. She then points to a blond sat on the front row and asks her to get on the stage. ""Ok, today is the day, I'm here to prove to you all that blonds are not dumb people, just regular people like you and me who have a different hair colour. I will ask this woman three questions and I guarante…

One day, while a blonde was out driving her car, she ran into a truck. The truck's driver, extremely furious, made her pull over into a parking lot and get out of the car. He took a piece of chalk and drew a circle on the pavement. He told her to stand in the middle and not leave the circle. Furious, he went over to her car and slashed the tires. The blonde started laughing. This made the man angrier so he smashed her windshield. This time the blonde laughed even harder. Livid, the man broke all…

I work with this blond girl... so I work with this blond girl and every day I see her throwing out her water bottle and buying a new one right next to the water cooler. So today I asked her hey why don't you just fill your water bottle up, it'll save you a few dollars every day. She looks at me and says, because it says no refill. http://imgur.com/SS2MTXg

BEST JOKE EVER A guy walks in to bar and tells everyone he has the best joke ever. Everyone tunes in. ""So a blonde, a jew, a priest, a black guy, a banana, and a clown walk in to a bar. They talk about how they are always the butt of jokes. They all drink together, bond, and feel a bit better about themselves. It's closing time. The jew and the priest share a cab, because the Jew won't pay and the priest will forgive him. The blonde goes home with the black guy... cuz you know ;). The clown rac…

4 people in the carriage of a train a Jew, a pretty young blond, an ugly old woman and a Muslim It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel. In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Muslim is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek. The old lady thinks, ""I bet that Muslim fondled the blond in the dark and she slapped him."" The pretty young blond thinks, ""I bet the Muslim tried to fondle me in the dark, got …

A guy walks in to a bar... A guy walks in to a bar and tells everyone he has the best joke ever. Everyone tunes in. ""So a blonde, a jew, a priest, a black guy, a banana, and a clown walk in to a bar. They talk about how they are always the butt of jokes. They all drink together, bond, and feel a bit better about themselves. It's closing time. The jew and the priest share a cab, because the Jew won't pay and the priest will forgive him. The blonde goes home with the black guy... cuz you know ;).…

Can a blonde solve a math problem? (WARNING: math joke) The odds are, they can't even

Intelligent blonde and a ventriloquist Blonde: ""I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the colour of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you that keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and men like you continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general, and all…

BLONDE AMBITION Q: What is every blonde's ambition? A: To be like Vanna White and learn the alphabet.

Two blondes are walking through a forest... They stumble across some tracks. The first blonde says ""Those are bear tracks!"". The second blonde says ""No, those are deer tracks!"" And then they were both hit by the train.

This blonde guy needs money... One night, this blonde guy gets down on his knees by his bed and says ""Oh Lord, we really need some money. Please let me win the lottery."" And he goes to bed. The next morning, the blonde guy wakes up and checks the news. He didn't win. So that night, he gets down on his knees again and says, ""Dear Lord, we really need that money. My kids need new shoes, my wife has nothing to cook for us to eat, I can't find a job. Please let me win the lottery."" And he goes t…

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead had a swimming race They had to do the breast stroke. The brunette finished first, followed closely by the redhead. They had to go save the blonde because she seemed to be drowning. When the blonde was able to speak she yelled, ""you cheated! You guys used your arms!""

Why was the blonde's belly button bruised? Her boyfriend was blond, too.

A Russian, an American, and a blonde are talking... about space achievements each of their kind has accomplished. Russian: We were the first in space American: We were the first on the moon Blonde: We will be the first on the sun. How, you ask? We go at night.