Barack Obama Jokes

All the new US currency bills and coins have been announced! $0.60 w/ Barack Obama. $3 Oprah Winfrey. $6 Martin Luther King Jr. $12 Harriet Tubman. $60 Rosa Parks. Bills with white people will remain the same value.

Why did they put Harriet Tubman on the twenty dollar bill and not Barack Obama? Because if that were the case, you'd never get change.

A plane's pilot is dead and the plane is going to crash. There are 5 passengers and 4 parachutes. The first passenger is Barack Obama, who takes a parachute on the grounds of being ""the president of America"". The second passenger, Mohammed Ali, takes a parachute on the grounds of being ""a famous boxer"". The third passenger, Donald Trump, takes a parachute on the grounds of being ""the smartest man in the world!"" This leaves a little girl and an old lady. The girl wants the old lady to have …

Donald Trump, Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Pope Francis and a Boy Scout are all on a plane that is about to crash... They quickly realize there are only four parachutes and one of them is going to die. Barack Obama says ""I am the leader of the free world and commander in chief. I also have two daughters that need me. I must survive!"" He takes a parachute and he jumps out of the plane. Donald Trump says ""I am richest man in the world. I have a multi-billion dollar company and many jobs depen…

Trump for President.. or not What is Donald Trump telling Barack Obama supporters? Orange Is The New Black

Barack Obama is planning to tighten gun purchase loopholes by executive order this week. Republicans are already planning to shoot it down.

Barack Obama 1,000,000 people showed up to his inauguration, only 14 missed work.

""I know everybody!"" Bob and Jeff are talking amongst themselves, when Bob says ""I know every single person in the world."" Jeff says ""That's not possible! There's no way you can know everybody in the world."" ""Okay,"" Bob replies with a smug look, ""I'll prove it. Let's go see my friend Bill Gates."" With that, they hop in a plane and fly to Medina, Washington and drive to Bill Gates' house. When they arrive at the front gate, a little screen activates and Bill's face shows up on the screen…

what would Barack Obama be if he was a vegetable? Baroccoli

Three leaders of nations are on a plane... Barack Obama, Shinzo Abe (PM of Japan), and Bashar Al-Assad (Syrian president) are cruising in Air Force One. As they're flying over the US, Barack turns to the other two and says ""This is how much I love my people"" and throws a quarter out of the plane. When they're over Japan, Shinzo says ""Well this is how much I love my people"" and throws a bag filled with 100 yen coins out of the plane. Over Syria, Bashar says ""Oh yea? Well this is how much I l…

Airplanes and Black people The president the first lady and Oprah are all riding in a plane. They were discussing who could make the most people happy. Michelle Obama said ""I can toss down a dollar and make a person happy."" Oprah scoffed and said, ""I can throw down ten dollars and make ten people happy."" Barack Obama laughs and says ""I can throw down 100 dollars and make 100 people happy."" The pilot turns around and says, ""I can throw 3 black people out the window and make everybody happy…

Jokes What did Barack Obama say to Michelle Obama when he proposed?

It's so good for USA that Barack Obama is running the country Black people are good at running.

An elite club in New York City hosts its annual banquet... It is known for upholding a number of very picky rules, notably a strict dress code. Justin Timberlake walks to the door wearing a sports coat and khakis. The bouncer says, ""You didn't meet the dress code. Please leave."" Leonardo Dicaprio walks to the door wearing a collared shirt, formal pants, and a tasteful bowtie; However, once again, the bouncer says, ""You didn't meet the dress code. Please leave."" Barack Obama and his entourage…

Well Done to Barack Obama... The first Black man to hear the words 'four more years' without them being spoken by a Judge during a parole hearing.

I mailed my maths homework to Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin and Queen Elizabeth II ...it said to give my answers to 3 significant figures.

Why do the birthers...? Why do the Birthers care about where Barack Obama was born (Hawaii, not Kenya) and not where Ted Cruz was born (Canada, not Texas)? Because Barack Obama is black.

Ok so there's this brunette who is determined to vanquish the stereotype that all blonds are dumb so she invites one million blond people to her event and manages to get her event televised all over the world. She then points to a blond sat on the front row and asks her to get on the stage. ""Ok, today is the day, I'm here to prove to you all that blonds are not dumb people, just regular people like you and me who have a different hair colour. I will ask this woman three questions and I guarante…

I almost forgot to wish a happy St. Patty's day to... ...Barack O'Bama Got this from Neil deGrasse Tyson's Twitter.

The next president I know who the next president will be. His name is Barack Obama, and I only know this because I am a time traveler who was sent back in time from the year 2015 to 2007. Use this information wisely. -Sent via Internet Explorer

List of the shortest books 1. The Australian Book of Foreplay. 2. Contraception by the Pope. 3. The American Guide to Etiquette. 4. Healthy Marriages by the British Royal Family. 5. Consumer Marketing Ethics. 6. Career Opportunities for History Majors. 7. My Life's Memories by Ronald Reagan. 8. Integrity by Bill Clinton. 9. The Wit and Wisdom of George W. Bush. 10. What I've Accomplished by Barack Obama.

An airplane was about to crash with Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, an old man and a young boy... Unfortunately there were only 3 parachutes left for the 4 of them.   Barack Obama said ""I am the president of the United States, and I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people, and a superpower!"" So he takes the 1st parachute, and jumps out of the plane.   Hillary Clinton, said ""I am the future first female President of the United States and I am…

Aussie, Osama Bin Laden and Barack Obama (Be warned and don't take offense) An Aussie, Osama Bin Laden and Barack Obama are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. ""I will give each of you one wish, that's three wishes total,"" says the Genie. The Aussie says, ""I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Australia."" With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Australia was forever …

Barack Obama has a long one, George Bush has a short one, Lorde doesn't have one and Pope Francis doesn't use his... Last names. What were you expecting?

Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, and Barack Obama walk into a liquor store. Tiger Woods brings his alcohol up to the counter, and the clerk asks him for ID. Tiger tells the clerk he doesn't have any, but can't she tell he's Tiger Woods? The clerk says sure but I have to have some definite proof. So Tiger goes out to his car, grabs a pitching wedge, and brings it into this store. Tiger precedes to hit a ball 20 feet into a cup without even knocking it over. Clerk says 'Alright take your alcohol.' Mic…