Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin went fishing... After a couple of hours, Obama was flinging his arms around, swatting mosquitos away, while Putin sat there, watching the pond, unbothered. ""How is it, that these bloodsuckers only target my blood reserves?"" Asked Obama. ""They don't bite you at all!"" Putin smiled knowingly and replied: ""They're not allowed to"".

Barack Obama Bar Jokes During a World Economic Summit, Barack Obama, Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto, Russian President Vladimir Putin, and French President Francois Hollande are ceremonially riding in Japan's newest bullet train. As you might know all of these political leaders have big egos and this is what ensued. Barack Obama says ""This is a fine bottle of wine Francois"" Upon hearing this President Francois Hollande throws out a case of France's finest wine and says ""In France fine w…

Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin were in a meeting Obama said, "Mr. Putin, the reason that I love my country is that a man can walk right into The White House and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running The United States of America.'" Putin responded, "That's true in Russia, too. Anyone can walk into the Kremlin and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running the United States of America.'"

Vladimir Putin visits a school... He asks a boy: "Who is your true mother?". "Mother Russia of course!", says the boy. Putin then asks a girl: "who is your true father?". "You, great president!", replies the girl. Putin then asks the quiet kid sitting at the back: "You there, why do you look so depressed?". The quiet kid thinks for a moment and says: "Feels sad to know that my father is screwing my mother in front of the whole world".