Queen Elizabeth Ii Jokes

To the citizens of the USA from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II. In the light of your failure to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA, and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except …

Queen Elizabeth II was involved in a traffic accident earlier today. Sources close to the Royal family say she only sustained minor injuries, but that she's finding motion in her legs to be temporarily restricted. They're getting her a Nobility scooter.

I mailed my maths homework to Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin and Queen Elizabeth II ...it said to give my answers to 3 significant figures.

At Heathrow Airport in England, a 300 ft. red carpet was stretched out to Air Force One and President Bush strode to a warm but dignified handshake from Queen Elizabeth II. They rode in a 1937 silver bentley to the edge of London where they boarded an open 17th century coach that was hitched to 6 magnificent white horses. As they rode toward Buckingham Palace, each looking to their sides and waiving to the thousands lining the streets, all was going well. What a glorious display of pagentry and …

Guy walks into a hotel A few years back, a feeder tournament for the World Series of Poker has attracted a lot of people to the town where it is being held, and every hotel in town is sold out. A guy without a reservation walks in and asks for a room. The desk clerk tells him “Sorry, but there are no rooms available. Due to an event in town, we have a full house”. Guy reaches into his pocket, pulls out a shiny metal object, and tosses it on the desk. Clerk looks at it, and it appears to be the…

Queen Elizabeth II may have made it to 96 before she died... But Princess Diana made it to 120

What happens if you cross Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip? You die in a car accident in Paris.

On the Bulgarian edition of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire... The new contestant sits on the chair. He just grunts at the host's introduction questions, so they get straight to the game. First question - Which city is the capital of Bulgaria: * A. Sofia * B. Moscow * C. London * D. Paris Respondent: "I'd like to ask the audience." The host is stunned, but just goes with it. The results of the vote are as expected - 100% for **A. Sofia**. The contestant says he’ll trust the audience and answe…

So the Pope visits Queen Elizabeth II and she says ""Watch Francis! With a wave of my hand I can make every loyal subject go completly hysterical."" So she waves her hand and every loyal subject goes completly apeshit.

To the citizens of the USA from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II.

St. Peter meets Queen Elizabeth II at the Gates of Heaven and says "Your Highness. I have been waiting…

What do you get if you cross Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Phillip? Killed in a Parisian tunnel.