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Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes

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Considering Leonardo DiCaprio might win an Oscar tomorrow... 1. Leonardo DiCaprio? More like Leonardo NoOscaro. 2. Best actor category? More like the not Leo club. 3. I typed in 'Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar' into google and it said 'Did you mean if hell freezes over?' 4. I heard Leo thought he had won an Oscar for Inception, but then he realized he was just dreaming. 5. The only way Leo can win an Oscar is if Steve Harvey is hosting. Thanks for bearing through that, much like Leonardo DiCaprio had…

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An elite club in New York City hosts its annual banquet... It is known for upholding a number of very picky rules, notably a strict dress code. Justin Timberlake walks to the door wearing a sports coat and khakis. The bouncer says, ""You didn't meet the dress code. Please leave."" Leonardo Dicaprio walks to the door wearing a collared shirt, formal pants, and a tasteful bowtie; However, once again, the bouncer says, ""You didn't meet the dress code. Please leave."" Barack Obama and his entourage…

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A man approached me on the train... ...and said "Remember Leonardo DiCaprio," and then ran away. Later when I was grocery shopping, the same man came over to me and said "Remember Leonardo DiCaprio," and then ran away. Then at night, when I was at a bar, the man came, said "Remember Leonardo diCaprio," and ran away. When I had gone to bed and was trying to fall asleep, he entered my room, said "Remember Leonardo DiCaprio," and ran away. At that point I had gotten tired of him so I called th…

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A Black guy arrives at Heavens Gates... The man is worried that due to his race, they might discriminate and not let him in. So when he walks up to the pearly gates he decides that at the very least, to better his chances to get in, he can change his name to that of a white person. "Name?" asks St. Peter The man searches for a name in his mind and finally lands on one. "Leonardo DiCaprio" St. Peter gives a stern look at the man and asks for his real name. The man gives him the same respo…

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cop was patrolling late at night in a well-known lover’s spot, famous for all obscene activities. he sees a couple in a car, with the interior light brightly glowing. The cop carefully approaches the car to get a closer look. Then he sees Leonardo DiCaprio behind the wheel, reading a popular culture magazine. He immediately notices a young woman in the rear seat, crying. Puzzled by this surprising situation, the cop walks to the car and gently raps on the driver’s window. DiCaprio lowers his …

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