Michael Jordan Jokes

The raw footage of SPACE JAM is mostly just Michael Jordan running around and talking to no one in an empty gym.

Sure the Michael Jordan underpants are good, but a lot of it is Scotty Pippen. He defends the balls.

DATE:[texting friend] he keeps comparing stuff to athletes ME: *returning from bathroom* man they got the michael jordan of toilets in there

I received a basketball in the mail from Amazon. I haven't played basketball in 20 years but apparently drunk me thinks I'm Michael Jordan.

Kanye West says he's the Michael Jordan of music. If he's talking about the time when Michael Jordan was playing baseball, I totally agree.

Lebron reminds me of Michael Jordan... ...when Jordan played baseball

Why don't you ever see Michael Jordan at Wimbledon? Only whites allowed

Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, a priest, and a hippie are on a plane together when suddenly it starts going down. There are only four parachutes but the pilot takes one and jumps out. Michael Jordan says ""I'm the greatest basketball player ever, I should get to live."" He grabs one and jumps out. Bill Gates says, ""I'm the smartest man in the world, I should live."" He grabs a pack and jumps out. The priest turns to the hippie and says, ""Son, I've lived my life. You take the last parachute and I'…

Tiger Woods, Michael Jordan, and Barack Obama walk into a liquor store. Tiger Woods brings his alcohol up to the counter, and the clerk asks him for ID. Tiger tells the clerk he doesn't have any, but can't she tell he's Tiger Woods? The clerk says sure but I have to have some definite proof. So Tiger goes out to his car, grabs a pitching wedge, and brings it into this store. Tiger precedes to hit a ball 20 feet into a cup without even knocking it over. Clerk says 'Alright take your alcohol.' Mic…

Michael Jordan tried escaping his nickname in Germany... but they still called him Herr Jordan.

My favorote rascist joke Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson had the same nickname growing up, can you guess what it is? Nigger

Guys, I know Michael Jordan very well... .. He just doesn't know me.

What do Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, and LeBron James have in common that led to their success in the NBA? Hard work and dedication.

What do you get when you mix Michael Jordan with Donald Trump? A Dunkin' Donut.

Barack Obama was out jogging one day... When he tripped, and fell over a bridge railing and landed in the river below. Before secret service could get to him, 3 kids who were fishing pulled him out of the water. He was so grateful he offered the kids whatever they wanted in return for saving his life. The first kid said, "I want to go to Disney world!" To which Obama replied, "not a problem, I'll even fly you there in Air Force one." The second kid then says, "I want a new pair of Nike Air Jord…

So this guy, Rob, is at an interview... And on his resume, he claims that he is friends with almost everyone in the world. The boss, who's interviewing him, clearly doesn't believe him. "If you know everyone, then hook me up with Obama." "Oh yeah! Sure! Obama and I went to middle school together! I'll call him up" Rob calls and Obama picks up. "Hey Rob! Yeah long time no see! I was in the middle of writing a big speech, but you can come over to the White House and we can chill." They arrive…

My dad is like the Michael Jordan of dads. He has a serious gambling problem.

What's the difference between Mike Jones and Michael Jordan? Mike Jones is Still Tippin'.