Africa Jokes

My Old Mate Dwayne moved to Johannesburg 10 years ago. I miss Dwayne down in Africa.

A professor travels to Africa to live with a primitive tribe and spends years with them, teaching them all about the wonders of science and mathematics. He makes friends with the tribe's chief and his wife and they all live happily for some time. One day the chief's wife gives birth to a white child. The word spreads and the entire tribe is in shock. The chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look, you are the only white man we've ever seen around here, and my wife gave birth to a white ch…

A Hare is assigned as the chief of police in the forest. He sees matters are bad, and decides to hit crime by tracking down illegal incomes. So, he orders the Vixen to be brought in for interrogation: **Hare**: Hmmm... Let's see... It says here you have a rather low income, and yet you are wearing a very nice furcoat. Tell me, what money did you buy it with? **Vixen**: What are you talking about? This is my own fur. **Hare**: Listen, do you expect me to believe such a silly story? How did yo…

I know a guy who gets his vodka imported from Central Africa Absolut Chad!

A priest goes in a safari... A priest goes on a safari in Africa. He gets separated from the group and has the bad luck of finding himself alone, facing a hungry lion. Priest: "Dear Lord, I haven't asked for much in life, but if it is of Thy all-knowing will, please concede me the grace that this lion be imbued with Christian moral and values!" A sound of trumpets echoes in the sky and a heavenly beam of light shines upon the lion, who now is able to speak. The lion: "Oh Lord, we give Thee th…

UN Survey Last month, the UN conducted a global survey: # "Please give us your honest opinion about a solution to the Food Shortages in the Rest of the World." ​ The poll turned out, not unexpectedly, to be a huge flop. Why? ​ \-In Africa, participants didn't know what 'food' was. \-Russia didn't know what 'honest' meant. \-Western Europe did not know the word 'Shortage '. \-The Chinese did not know what 'opinion' was. \-The Middle East asked what 'solution' meant. \-So…

Dark humor will never grow old! Just like the children in Africa.

I was so confused why there are so many stories about vampires in Europe, but not in Africa. Then I remembered that vampires are killed by holy water. They blessed the rains down in Africa.

The children in Africa When I was young and I wouldn’t eat my food, my mom would always tell me to think about the children in Africa and how they’re starving. Being a good and impressionable kid, I really took her words to heart and made it an objective of mine to help these poor kids. Today I work as a volunteer delivering food to many starving African children. You might say my reaction to my mom’s saying was extreme or naive, BUT LET ME TELL YOU. Nothing, AND I MEAN NOTHING, compares to…

A man walks into a bar A man walks into a bar, sits down at the counter and orders a beer in a glass and a beer in a thimble. The waiter finds his request strange, but he complies. Suddenly a tiny man comes out of the man's shirt pocket, sits down on the bar and drinks his beer from the thimble. The waiter looks at the scene astonished. The next day, the man returns, sits at the bar and again orders a beer in a glass and a beer in a thimble. The same little man pulls out his pocket, sits down o…

I always wondered why you hear stories of vampires in Europe but never Africa. Then I remembered vampires are killed by holy water, and they bless the rain down in Africa

Santa Claus had started feeling like he was losing some of his mojo at one point... ... so in recent years, he had taken to periodically stopping during his annual Christmas Eve present run to take in words of wisdom from spiritual leaders from various backgrounds all over the world, hoping that someone could re-ignite that spark for him that made Christmas special. Eventually, he realized that it wasn't just him - the reindeer were tired, his sleigh was starting to look a bit run-down, and ev…

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: ‘Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world? The survey was a failure. In Africa they didn’t know what ‘food’ meant; in India they didn’t know what ‘honest’ meant; in Europe they didn’t know what ‘shortage’ meant; in China they didn’t know what ‘opinion’ meant; in the Middle East they didn’t know what ‘solution’ meant; in South America they didn’t kn…

Do you know why there's no gambling in Africa? Because there are too many cheetahs.

my wife left me because i'm obssesed with africa kenya believe it? and we have two kids together, this divorce is ghana be so hard on them

The geography of a woman as she ages: (from a friend) Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful! Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain. Very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece. Gently aging but still a warm and desirable place to visit. Between 41 and 50, a …

People who say “every 60 seconds in Africa…” are lying Everyone knows people in Africa don’t get seconds

What do they call the Hunger Games in Africa? Games

Where were thr first gas cars invented? In Africa

Why don't they allow gambling in Africa ? Too many cheetahs

Took my GF and her friends on a tour on Africa. They hated every country we visited except for one.

A professor travels to Africa to live with a primitive tribe... ...and spends years with them

Why is it that there's no pharmacies in Africa? Because you shouldn't take medicine on an empty stomach.

Why are there no pharmacies in Africa? Because you shouldn't take medicines on an empty stomach.

Obi and the never satisfied old lady [Original Joke] Obi just moved from africa to a nice little town in the U.S.