Africa Jokes

I got a call from a woman who wanted to go to Capetown. started to explain the length of the flight and the passport information when she interrupted me with ""I'm not trying to make you look stupid but Cape Town is in Massachusetts."" Without trying to make her look like the stupid one I calmly explained ""Cape Cod is in Massachusetts Capetown is in Africa."" Her response... click.

A Baptist missionary was walking in Africa when he heard the ominous padding of a lion behind him. ""Oh Lord"" prayed the missionary ""Grant in Thy goodness that the lion walking behind me is a good Christian lion."" And then in the silence that followed the missionary heard the lion praying too: ""Oh Lord"" he prayed ""I thank Thee for the food which I am about to receive.""

The big game hunter was showing his friends his hunting trophies. Drawing their attention to a lion skin rug on the floor he said ""I shot this fellow in Africa. Didn't want to kill such a magnificent beast of course but it was either him or me."" ""Well"" said a guest ""he certainly makes a much better rug than you would!""

A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder...the bartender looks up and says "" where the hell did you get that thing? The Parrot replies "" Over in Africa there's millions of them "" !!!!

eer booze and fun!' 'A man walks into a bar and says ""Bartender give me two shots."" Bartender says ""You want them both now or one at a time?"" The guy says"" Oh I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here"" and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks ""He can drink?"" ""Oh sure. He can drink."" So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough the little guy drinks it all up. ""That's amazing"" says the bartender. ""What else can he do …

Two shoe salespeople were sent to Africa to open up new markets. Three days after arriving one salesperson called the office and said ""I'm returning on the next flight. Can't sell shoes here. Everybody goes barefoot."" At the same time the other salesperson sent an email to the factory telling ""The prospects are unlimited. Nobody wears shoes here!""

I have a kid in africa which I feed, clothe and school for less than a dollar a day, which is really cheap. Ofcourse the plane ticket to send him there was quite expensive, but now it's really working out. (stolen from the awesome Jeselnik)

Boondocks saints joke...classic A white guy, a spik and a black guy (nigger), yea yea, are walking down the beach and they find a lamp. They rub it and a genie pops out. The genie says "I'll give you each 1 wish". The Mexican says "I weesh for all my Mexican hermanos and hermanas to be back in Mehico". POOF all the Mexicans were back in Mexico. The black guy (nigger) yea yea that's what I said, the nigger says "I wish for all my nigger brothers and sisters to be back in Africa". POOF all t…

The Parrot Says ... A black guy walks into a bar with a magnificent looking parrot perched on his shoulder. The bartender says "Hey, that's awesome, where'd ya' get that thing?" And the parrot says: "Africa."

Two part joke Q. How does an elephant hide in an apple tree? A. He paints his balls red. Q. What's the loudest sound in Africa? A. Giraffes eating apples.

A black man goes into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... The bartender looks at the parrot and says, "Wow! That's a beauty. Where'd you get him?" The parrot replies, "Africa".

The Geography of a man and women THE GEOGRAPHY OF WOMAN AND MEN The Geography of a Woman Between 18 and 22, a woman is like Africa . Half discovered, half wild, fertile and naturally Beautiful! Between 23 and 30, a woman is like Europe. Well developed and open to trade, especially for someone of real value. Between 31 and 35, a woman is like Spain, very hot, relaxed and convinced of her own beauty. Between 36 and 40, a woman is like Greece, gently aging but still a warm and desirable plac…

A mexican guy, a black guy, and a white guy are all walking down a beach when they find a magic lamp... So they rubbed it and a genie pops out, tells them they get 1 wish each. The mexican guy goes 1st and says: "I wish that my homeland is rid of all hardships so all my people in the USA can move peacefully back to Mexico." and poof! The wish is granted. The black guy goes next and says: "I wish that my homeland is rid of all hardships so all my people in the USA can move peacefully back to A…

Sad but true. Worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure, In Africa they didn't know what 'food' meant, In India they didn't know what 'honest' meant, In Europe they didn't know what 'shortage' meant, In China they didn't know what 'opinion' meant, In the Middle East they didn't know what 'solution' meant, In South America the…

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder... and the bartender says: "hey where'd you get that? It looks exotic." And the parrot says: "Africa."

A professor travels to Africa to live with a primitive tribe... ...and spends years with them, teaching them all about the wonders of science, mathematics, and formatting Reddit comments so they get the most upvotes. One day, the Chief's wife gives birth to... a white child! The word spreads, and the entire tribe is in shock. The chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look, you're the only white man we've ever seen around here, and this woman just gave birth to a white child. It doesn't t…

An American, A Mexican, and an African Man are on an island... they meet a genie who decides to grant them each one wish. He first turns to the African man."What do you wish for?" The African man says, "I wish for all of my people to be free and happy in Africa," and so it was done. The genie turns to the Mexican man and asks, "What do you wish for?" The Mexican man says, "I wish for all my people to be free and happy in Mexico," and so it was done. Finally the genei turns to the Ameri…

A black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder ... approaching the bar, the bartender asks "What can I get for you?" Immediatedly the parrot squaks and says "Two Budweisers please and a round of drinks for the ladies at the end of the bar". Totally impressed, the bartender replies "Holy shit, thats amazing, where did you get it?" Again the parrot squaks and says "Africa.... they got millions of 'em there."

So we've now landed a probe on a comet... and a lot of people are now saying "why are we spending billions landing on a comet when there are starving kids in Africa"...why do they want to land a probe on starving kids in Africa, maybe one of you can explain it to me?

Poodle and Leopard A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful old poodle, Cuddles, along for the company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, Cuddles discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old poodle thinks, 'Oh, oh! I'm in deep doo-doo now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the …

The Albino and the Black Sheep A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!" The professor replied, "N…

A missionary goes to Africa... A missionary goes to Africa and was living with a tribe. While he was there, a white baby was born. The tribe's chief goes to the missionary and asks, "how do you explain this white baby? You're the only white man here, this doesn't seem right...". The missionary looks around and tries to come up with an excuse. "Uhh well, you see... Uhm...see the sheep there? All of them have white wool, except for that one that's black... Its just nature." The chief looks at him…

Women are alot like continents. At various times in her life, a woman is like the continents of the world. From 13 to 18, she's like Africa- virgin territory. From 18 to 30, she's like Asia- hot and exotic. From 30 to 45, she's like America- fully explored and free with her resources. From 45 to 55, she's like Europe- exhausted, but not without places of interest. From 55 onwards, she's like Australia- everybody knows it's down there, but nobody cares.

A Brit, American and South African Joke After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Brit’s, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York bulletin: “American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old …

A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. Bartender says, "wow where did you get that?" Parrot looks at him and says "Africa, there's millions of them."