Africa Jokes

You must pass two tests, or die Three explorers were bushwhacking their way through darkest Africa when they came upon an undiscovered tribe of cannibals. The Chief informed them that they must each pass two important tests, or they would be eaten. They were told for test number one, they must go into the jungle and pick 10 fruits from the first tree they find. The first explorer returned from the jungle with 10 apples and the Chief said, ""You have passed the first test. Now you must shove thos…

A White, Mexican, and a African American find a gene lamp... They all rub the lamp, the gene appears and says ""you each get one wish"" ; all three men begin thinking and the Mexican goes first and says ""I wish for all my people to be happy and free back in Mexico"" and then poof all the Mexicans are back in Mexico. Then the African American decides to go second and he wishes ""for all his people to be happy and free back in Africa"" then poof they're all back in Africa. Finally it's the white …

I went to Africa recently... ...and I saw that they used Co2 as fuel instead of petrol or diesel. I couldn't believe it and I exclaimed, ""Madagascar!""

I walked all the way from Europe to Africa. I know what you are thinking... Uganda be kidding me!

A new missionary arrives in Africa . . . A missionary had just arrived at his new station in Africa, and was being briefed by the man he was about to replace. ""Brother,"" said the old missionary, ""We have truly done the Lord's work here. We have taught nearly all the wild animals in this part of the continent to understand and speak English, that we may then teach them to be good Christians."" ""Wow!"" said the new missionary. ""And how is spreading the Word going?"" ""Not too bad,"" said the …

So I asked my Doctor, ""Doctor, what are we going to do about this dangerous virus from Africa?"" He said, ""I don't know, he has two more years in office.""

Why are people afraid to play poker in Africa? Too many Cheetahs.

A guy and his family are on safari... And they're traveling across Africa. they see the Giraffes, in all their majestic awkwardness, and they see the lions, with their intimidating beauty. The family then comes upon a herd of Elephants, and the child notices that one of the baby elephants is standing with his paw in the air, like he's injured. Without thinking, the kid jumps out of the Jeep, and runs up to the elephant. Turns out theres a large stick wedged in his paw. The young child pulls the …

Reverend, Lion and Jesus The reverend visits Africa and was preaching in a small church ""thankful prayers outweighs begging prayers"" On the way back to the airport for the flight home, his rental jeep broke down halfway in the middle of a jungle. He starts to walk back to the church which was 3 miles away to get assistant and he spotted a Lion. The lion noticed the reverend. Reverend prayed ""Dear Jesus! I begged you for your protection"" Lion prayed ""Thank you Jesus for the food blessed be y…

An explorer travels to deepest darkest Africa to witness a solar eclipse. He is captured by cannibals and imprisoned. He hears that he will be killed and eaten on the day of the eclipse, so he asks his guard about how the day will proceed, hoping that he can use his knowledge of the eclipse to his advantage. ""Well, usually we start the fire in the morning and slaughter when the sun is highest in the sky."", the guard says. The explorer is happy: the eclipse starts just before midday, so the can…

What is the most abundant spice in Africa? Paprika.

A black man, a mexican, and a white man find a magic lamp Naturally, a genie comes out. The genie gives each of them one wish, starting with the black man. He tells the genie ""Genie, my people all miss Africa and would like to go back and see it one time. I wish all my people in America were back in Africa."" And then the genie sent all the blacks to Africa. The Mexican says ""Genie, I feel the same. My people miss their families and the cooking from Mexico, so I wish all of my people in Americ…

Grandpa told me this one. We are sitting at dinner talking about politics and Ferguson gets brought up. Grandpa says, ""What's that place in Missouri called again?"" ""Ferguson,"" I reply. ""Where about in Africa is that again?"" He says.

Your best misleading jokes! The other day I saw a post that went: why aren't there any casinos in Africa? Too many cheetahs. When I told ppl this joke they expected a really racist joke, but pleasantly surprised how clean it was. I was wondering what other jokes y'all had like this.

If we are what we eat... ...children in Africa don't exist.

I think we should invest in mosquito nets for Africa We can save millions of mosquitos from needlessly dying of aids

Sometimes I feel so lucky to be American... Not like those poor kids in Africa, or the euthanasia.

Geography of a woman Between the ages of 15-18, a woman is like China. Developing at a sizzling rate with a lot of potential but as yet still not free or open. Between the ages of 18-21, a woman is like Africa or Australia. She is half discovered, half wild and naturally beautiful. Between the ages of 21-30, a woman is like America or Japan. Completely discovered, very well developed and open to trade especially with countries with cash or cars. Between the ages of 30-35, she is like India or Sp…

What do you call a Five Guys restaurant in Africa? 3 Guys

A black man walks into a bar... A black man walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder, and approaches the bartender for a drink. ""That's a cool pet,"" says the bartender, ""where on earth did you get it?"" ""Africa,"" said the parrot.

Black man wants to go live in Africa A black man is very upset with how blacks are treated in America and decides he wants to go to Africa to live among his ancestors. He goes up the counter at the airport and says ""I want a one-way ticket to Nigeria"" and throws his money on the counter. ""I'm sorry, sir. You appear to be 5 cents short"" said the clerk. ""5 cents? Who cares! Give me the ticket lady!"" shouted the man. ""I'm sorry sir, I need the correct amount or I cannot complete the transact…

Why is Africa so bad at cricket? Because they only have Ebola!

The parrot. A guy is walking in the street when suddenly a black guy with a parrot on his shoulder appears. The first guy says: -Wow! That's so cool. Where did you get it? And the parrot answers: -From Africa, there are lots of them over there.

A group of missionaries are traveling through Africa A group of missionaries are traveling through rural Africa spreading the good news.One day, they find themselves in a town, and before long quite a crowd has gathered. After preaching the virtues of Christianity for a while, they decide to demonstrate the amazing powers of the lord. ""if anyone here is in need of divine assistance please step forward!"" A woman appears from the crowd holding her head ""please help, i suffer from terrible heada…

So today I got tickets for the Kanye West concert... I misread it horribly though and I ended up somewhere in Africa