Africa Jokes

Africa and Asia are playing baseball Asia strikes out Africa, Europe

three wishes Theres a mexican, a black guy and a white guy.. a geenie agrees to grant them each one wish.. the mexican asks for all of his people to be happy and in mexico. so POOF.. the wish is granted. the black guy asks for all of his people to be happy and back in africa. POOF.. the wish is granted. the geenie finally goes up to the white guy and says, ""what will your wish be?"" the white guy says,""you mean to tell me that all of the blacks and mexicans are out of the country?"" the geenie…

A man witnessed a parent forcing their kid to painfully overeat because there are starving kids in Africa who get no food. The man immediately punched the kid in the head and the parents screamed, ""What did you do that for?!!?"" The man explained, ""Because there are parentless kids in Africa who get no hugs""

According to newly discovered archaeological evidence, King Tut may have been addicted to opium. I was reading an article recently that suggests that as early as 1330 BCE the production of opium and its trade across Asia and into Africa was quite popular. According to scholarly interpretation of some hieroglyphs, King Tut was known for his frequent use of the substance, and his unhealthy behavior grew to adversely affect his leadership in Egypt. At one point, his wife and advisors held somewhat …

How many Africans does it take to change a light bulb? There are no light bulb factories in Africa. Except in south Africa and they've been over run by blacks who destroyed everything. Tell me I'm wrong.

Africa The US sent a humanitarian shipment of medicine to Africa, but it is was returned after a few weeks, because the label said ""take after a meal"". Sorry.

Damn apple just donated a bunch of ipads to kids in africa The only app on it was ''Where's my water''

Random acts of nature An international aid worker was volunteering at a small remote village in Africa. He was the only outsider the villagers have ever seen. But after awhile, they welcomed him into their homes. The village chief had a beautiful daughter that had caught the eye of this worker. Everyday she would make eye contact and smile at him, but he knew it was against the rules to have a relationship with her. After about a year, the unmarried beautiful daughter ended up giving birth to a …

Three Men go fight lions in Africa. There are 3 men. A German, A Chinese man, and a Czechoslovakian. They go to the plains of Africa to fight the Lions and slay them. Things are going well until a large pack comes into their territory. Boom a wild fight breaks out amusing them all. It didn't go to well for the men as they all got eaten up by the lions. A few days later the children of the 3 men come to Africa to avenge their fathers. They know and see the pack that got their dads. They hunt them…

There is a tribe in Africa that worships the number zero. Is nothing sacred?

9 out of 10 dentists recommend crest toothpaste... ...the 10th is in still in hiding for paying $50,000 for the right to murder a lion in Africa.

Did you know Cecil was a black lion? And man, even in Africa, the white people **STILL** be killing tiggas.

I was in bed with my two girlfriends this morning.. How do you start a rave in Africa? Pencil. Am i doing this right? ( sorry for bad English I'm from Wales)

Gorilla Romance This middle aged, divorced woman from NY City is having brunch with her friends one day. One of them comments that she hasn't been herself lately. The others agree, and someone suggests she needs a change. The woman agrees and decides she is going to take a trip. The next morning she visits a travel agency, and books a three week trip to Africa. When she gets there she has a wonderful time visiting museums, shopping, and so forth. Finally, as the main feature of her trip, she goe…

Two explorers in a jungle A researcher accompanied by his assistant are exploring the jungles of Africa, when suddenly they are caught by a hostile tribe. The explorers are brought to the tribe and are imprisoned in separate huts. The king of the tribe appears to the researcher and tells him that if you want to live you have pass a certain test, which involves a free choice of fruit of the jungle. The researcher chooses a certain berry, which then is fetched from the jungle. The tribe king says:…

Somewhere in Africa... a bunch of orphans are about to be running around in confederate flag shirts.

A Little Man A man walks into a bar and says, ""Bartender, give me two shots."" Bartender says, ""You want them both now or one at a time?"" The guy says,"" Oh, I want them both now. One's for me and one's for this little guy here,"" and he pulls a tiny three inch man out of his pocket. The bartender asks ""He can drink?"" ""Oh, sure. He can drink."" So the bartender pours the shots and sure enough, the little guy drinks it all up. ""That's amazing"" says the bartender. ""What else can he do, ca…

A man grows tired of his relationship with his wife On their 25th anniversary, the man planned a vacation trip. Man: Let's go on a vacation, just the two of us. Wife: (gets exited) Really? Where are we going? Man: How about an adventure in the jungles of Africa? Wife: That would be really nice! What about on our 50th? Man: I'll come back for you.

What do they eat for breakfast in africa? Ebola cereal

A mexican, a black guy, and a white guy... There are three guys. One spik, one nigger and one white guy. They walk along the beach, they see this pot, they rub it, genie comes out. Genie says, you know, ""You wish for anything you want."" So, he asks the spik what he wants, and he goes, uh, uh, ""I want, uh, all my people in America to be happy and free and in Mexico."" And so, genie - Poof! And, all of them are in Mexico. And then he asks the nigger- ""What do you want?"" And he goes, um, uh, "…

Poker doesn't work well in Africa. There's just too many cheetahs.

Poker never works well in Africa Ethiopians always eat the chips

So the pope went to Africa to visit some city's to spread good word We was being driven in a limo and was in the middle of nowhere, on the way, he asked the driver if he could try driving, the limo driver asked why and the pope said he had never driven in his life, so the limo driver thought why not since they're in the middle of nowhere, so the pope starts flying it going about 100 miles an hour, but all of a sudden a cop shows up out of nowhere, pulls him over and looks inside, amazed, he call…

I like my women like I like my coffee. Imported fair trade from Africa.

A man is sent to live amongst a tribe in Africa. After settling in to his new lodgings he hears a loud set of pipes playing near the tribes village. He asks one of the tribe members what the pipe music is for and he answers, ""Nobody know for sure, just that very bad thing happen when they stop."" The man begins to worry about what this bad thing could be but after a few days of constant pipe music he begins to settle down but is still curious. However, after a week amongst the tribe, as he was …