Africa Jokes

Every 60 seconds in Africa... a minute passes, you racist.

UN Survey Last month a world-wide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was:- ""Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"" The survey was a huge failure because of the following: 1. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what ""honest"" meant. 2. In Western Europe they didn't know what ""shortage"" meant. 3. In Africa they didn't know what ""food"" meant. 4. In China they didn't know what ""opinion"" meant. 5. In the M…

A cheetah and a lion are racing in Africa After the cheetah easily wins, the lion complains: ""Man, you're a cheetah"" and the cheetah says: ""Naw man you're a lion"".

Africa If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could save millions of mosquito's dying needlessly of aids.

I once went to Africa, all the girls there were a perfect 10..... ...on the BMI scale

What did one cracker say to the other? ""Let's conquer the Americas, Africa, Australia, and Asia.""

A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy find a genie in a bottle. The genie asks each of them what they wish for. The mexican says, ""My wish is for all my mexicans in America to be back in Mexico, drinking beer on the beach!"" Poof, his wish is granted. The black guy says, ""my wish is for my fellow Africans living in America to all be transported back to Africa where we can be happy and safe!"" Poof, his wish is also granted. The genie turns to the white guy and asks him what his wish is. ""We…

If only we had more money for mosquito nets in Africa... think of all the mosquitoes we could save from dying needlessly of AIDS.

Tired of an Elephant always destroying their colony, ants decide to eliminate him... Somewhere in Africa, a colony of ants had enough of a particular elephant that would destroy their colony once it was built to its full glory. Tired of constantly having to rebuild, they decided it was time for action. One day, the leader of the ants gathered everyone and gave a marvelous speech: ""Today is the day we stand up and rise up above this pesky Elephant!"" Millions of ants cheered in excitement. He th…

A Mexican, a Black Man, and a Redneck... They're walking down the road when they stumble across a genie lamp. They agree to split the wishes equally. They rub the lamp, and the genie comes out. ""I am prepared to give 3 wishes, and 3 wishes only..."" The genie says. ""So who's going first?"" The black man shouts, ""ME! I AM! ME!"" The genie says; ""Okay, what would you like?"" The black man says; ""I want me and all my people back in Africa, the cradle of civilisation, where we can live in peace…

An Airplane Carrying Pepsi Crashes... An airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction, and went down. A few weeks later, the Pepsi Company sent a rescue plane. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals. They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash. The Chief said, ""You betcha!"" When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, ""We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi."" The Rescue crew were shocked. One man…

If Africa had more mosquito nets... ...we'd save millions of mosquitos from dying of Aids each year

I like my women like I like my Africa Undeveloped

Perfect Answer by Father. A little boy says, Dad, I've heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her.' Son,' says the dad. That happens everywhere.

Why do androids go to Africa to party? Because Botswana have fun.

Why do elephants... Why do elephants paint their balls red? * To hide in apple trees. Never seen an elephant in an apple tree? That's because it works. Now, what's the most dangerous job in Africa? * Picking apples.

Hans Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague and, as a young man, aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into the Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B17s until his aircraft was shot down in 1943 and he lost his left arm. Captain Grapje spent the rest of the war as a chaplain, giving spiritual aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy. After the war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in Africa, piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages …

Why don't they play poker in Africa? Too many cheetahs

Parrot A black guy walks in to a bar with a parrot on his shoulder the bar tender asks "" he's beautiful where did you get him"" the parrot squaks "" Africa theres plenty of them""

The Pink Gorrilla This is the story of the pink gorilla. There's these two guys. They're both teachers, and they work at the same school. One is an Anthropology teacher. The other is a Historian. They are both given a sabbatical. For those of you who don't know, a sabbatical is a paid vacation for teachers. They are paid to take time off teaching, but they have to do research to better their knowledge, to better their teaching. Got it? Good. So, both teachers are given a sabbatical. And, they're…

How do you start a rave in Africa? Glue toast to the ceiling. (Apologies if repost, I found it funny and wanted to share it with you guys. Have a great day! :D )

A hypochondriac visits his doctor and claims he has Ebola. Annoyed, the doctor asks if the man has visited Africa recently. The man replies, ""No... b-but I have all the symptoms. I CHECKED online before coming in today."" Now, normally the doctor would humor this man, but this was a very busy day and he had already come in 100 times this year. So the doctor overreacted and started berating the man. ""You FOOL! There's nothing wrong with you! STOP WASTING MY TIME!! Can't you see there are SICK p…

I made a fortune selling HIV testing kits to Africa In reality, it's just a bunch of lollipop sticks with ""Yes"" written on the side of them.

There's so many charities dedicated to bringing clean water to Africa, so instead I'm going to establish a charity to bring free Tidal subscriptions to Africa. I feel the people of Africa would appreciate some Lemonade for once.

I'm going to start a comedy club in Africa... I'm going to call it ""Lafrica""