Nsa Jokes

How to save $49.95 a month. I have disconnnected my home alarm system and de- registered from the neighbourhood watch.I've got two pakistani flags reised in the front yeard, one at each corner and the black flag of the ISIS in the center. The RCMP, CSIS the FBI, CIA, MI5, MI6, NSA and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and I am saving $49.95 a month.

I think we're looking at the NSA spying thing the wrong way, there are potential positives. Soon if you forget your email password you'll be able to ring the CIA and they'll remind you.

The NSA hired Sarah Palin so she could keep an eye on Edward Snowden

What do you do if you lose all the information on your computer? Ask the NSA for a backup.

The NSA is to blame for obesity in The United States. Because the camera ads 10 pounds.

I think that the NSA is after me Because I'm Snowden after this blizzard

The NSA is bracing itself for what could be the single largest data leak in history. Rumors are circulating about the possibility of thousands of whistleblowers stepping forward in unison across the Northeast in the next few days. CNN reports, ""This time tomorrow, there will be thousands of Edward's snowed in.""

He knows when you are sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or good... Does Santa work for the NSA?

One time i owned a america so hard xD a american was talking about the nsa and how there government takes away there rights and its a police state and i said ""but i thought your country was supposed to be the land of the free"" xD

I can't have teamwork at League of Legends because... the only people listening to my calls are the NSA.

The secret services of the USA, Israel and Russia argue about which is most effective. An impartial Swiss judge releases a rabbit into thick woods and instructs them to find it. The CIA and NSA conduct months of testing, hacking and spying before concluding that rabbits don't exist. The Mossad torches the forest and proudly proclaims that the rabbit has been taken care of. The FSB goes into the adjacent woods. An hour later, it comes out dragging a bloodied bear, who howls ""Okay, I'm a rabbit, …

What branch of government actually listens to the people? [The NSA !](/spoiler)

Why don't people win the lotto Because the NSA runs it

The NSA is coming to town You better not call, You better not Skype, You better not type and I'm telling you why, The NSA is coming to town

Misread the Whistleblower: NSA Story on the Front Page and Came up with this Joke What do you call an NBA Whistleblower? A referee!

Topical Jokes for 6/25 (For best results, imagine these being read by your favorite late night host) John Boehner has filed a lawsuit against President Obama, claiming abuse of power. Obama wielded his incredible power later that day, when he begged Congress for permission to go to the bathroom. A study of the world's oldest feces, revealed that Neanderthals ate vegetables. But experts are saying the study is a load of crap. In Detroit, a 12-year-old boy who had been missing for a week, was disc…

Topical Jokes for 6/1 A video has surfaced of Justin Bieber saying the n-word. People are calling it the least offensive Justin Bieber video ever. In Illinois, a 115-pound-woman won a hot dog eating contest, after she ate 28 hot dogs. The judges then congratulated the 138-pound-woman. The NSA is reportedly collecting millions of images per day to build a facial-recognition database. The NSA is cataloguing the photos in a massive online database -- it's called Instagram.

The NSA can see our emails but can they see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower's plane leave Washington DC? He was Edward Snowed-In.

NSA joke I always said President Obama bugged me.

Obama's reaction to NSA scandal ""This technology means spies will never have to use windows ever again.""

Why didn't the NSA request AT&T's phone records? Because they can't monitor all those dropped calls!

Newly leaked documents show the NSA has been collecting millions of pictures of people online for its sophisticated facial recognition program. Americans said it's a huge violation of their privacy then they went back to posting selfies every 30 minutes.

The new #iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, #Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world. I'm sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.

Hey, NSA,,,, if you're going to read my posts, would it kill you to like them?