Topical Jokes for 6/25 (For best results, imagine these being read by your favorite late night host) John Boehner has filed a lawsuit against President Obama, claiming abuse of power. Obama wielded his incredible power later that day, when he begged Congress for permission to go to the bathroom. A study of the world's oldest feces, revealed that Neanderthals ate vegetables. But experts are saying the study is a load of crap. In Detroit, a 12-year-old boy who had been missing for a week, was disc…

History began some 12,000 years ago.(Actually, it was 40,000 years ago.) Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in winter. The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization and, together, were the catalyst …

Mr. Trump, what will you do as President? TRUMP: I'll outlaw shredded cheese and only sell blocks Why? TRUMP: To make America grate again

It's weird that America has never had a bald eagle president but Australia has had several kangaroo prime ministers (I assume).