Isis Jokes

How to break bad news like a boss At dawn the telephone rings, ""Hello, Senor Kent? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."" ""Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"" ""Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Kent, that your parrot, he is dead"". ""My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"" ""Si, Senor, that's the one."" ""Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"" ""From eating the rotten mea…

Three women- a blond, a brunette, and a red head, are all about to be executed by ISIS The red head was up first. Right before she was going to be executed she yelled, ""TORNADO!"" All of the ISIS members took cover and she escaped. The brunette was the next in line. She followed in the red-head's footprints and this time screamed ""SANDSTORM!"" The gullible ISIS members again ducked for cover while she escaped. The blonde thought to herself, ""This is going to be easy. These people are idiots."…

Two converts set off to go join ISIS... Hasan and Hussein set off to go join ISIS. Hasan flew to Istanbul first class, but Hussein was on the no fly list and had to stow away on an empty oil tanker. But Hasan gifted Hussein a heavy backpack of food and cigarettes to make the trip more bearable. But when they got to Syria, the ISIS folks found those cigarettes in the backpack and brought them both to a high tower in Raqqa. The judge said, ""Hussein, you're pardoned. But Hasan, we throw you off th…

ISIS Comic Did you hear about the ISIS comic? He bombed.

Two Russian pilots in Syria - Hi, what have you been doing today? - Bombing the ISIS headquarters... - Which one, the main headquarters? - No man, the main headquarters is on the other continent...

Why did the polar bear join the terrorist group. Because that is where the ISIS.

A blond, a brunette, and a red-head are all caught by ISIS and are being prepared to be executed by a firing squad. The red-hed was up first. Right before she was going to be executed she yelled, ""TORNADO!"" All of the ISIS members took cover and she escaped. The brunette was the next in line. He followed in the red-head's footprints and this time screamed ""SANDSTORM!"" The gullible ISIS members again ducked for cover while he escaped. The blonde thought to herself, ""This is going to be easy.…

I dont care about all the ISIS jokes They all blow up.

The ISIS have recruited a new rapper... They're calling him the real Islam shady!

How to save $49.95 a month. I have disconnnected my home alarm system and de- registered from the neighbourhood watch.I've got two pakistani flags reised in the front yeard, one at each corner and the black flag of the ISIS in the center. The RCMP, CSIS the FBI, CIA, MI5, MI6, NSA and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7. I've never felt safer and I am saving $49.95 a month.

How is global warming reducing terrorism? The ISIS melting.

What's the difference between the ISIS headquarters and a kindergarten?,"I don't know I just fly the drone.

What will the ISIS be called when we eventually destroy them? WASWAS.

Whats the ISIS members' astrological sign? Sad terrorist

Why is there such a big war in the Middle East? Because they're having difficulties finding out where the ISIS (created by my 10 year old 5 minutes ago)

What does the ISIS donkey say? Jihaaaad

What's the difference between the ISIS headquarters and a kindergarten? I don't know, I just fly the drone.

What does the ISIS member say about telling good jokes? "It's all in the execution."